


Fit Into My Puzzle

by orphan_account



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Amputee Peridot (Steven Universe), Extremely Non-Canon, F/F, I Hate Thinking Of Tags I'll Add More Later, Kink Negotiation, Mommy Kink, Nurse Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe), Roleplay Logs, Sexual Roleplay, accidentally cute, sad beginning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-07 19:10:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 30,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6820570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peridot loses her legs in a car accident. While recovering she runs into a nurse in training by the name of Lapis Lazuli. They date for a month before Peridot drops contact, isolating herself from both her and her doctors. Lapis tries not to worry, until after a severe breakdown Peridot gives her a phonecall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> These are the logs from a series of RP sessions. I've taken some liberties with editing but for the most part this has been left close to identical to the original RP's! I've done my best to format it in a presentable manner, but if it is either unappealing or could use some changes, please leave a comment saying how it can be changed.
> 
> Be warned that the tone of this story changes drastically over time. If you've come here expecting pure smut or pure drama, this may not be to your tastes.

Lapis had already been lying restless in bed for an hour or so by the time midnight rolled around. Even after her days training had finished, she had spent a good deal of time checking up on all of her assigned patients and even longer even longer studying when she had gotten home. Given the time of morning (she hesitated to call it that when the sun was barely even out) she needed to get up to catch the bus back into the city, she needed all the sleep she could get. Of course, this meant that she couldn't get any.

A part of her was thankful for the distraction of her phone suddenly blaring that annoying custom ringtone. It was loud and she didn't like the tune, but it was something Peridot had insisted on. Even in the short time they had been together, she had always gotten her way. It was either pity, her girlfriends cunning, or how easy she gave in under pressure. It was probably the last one. She swiped to the right and brought the phone to her air, hearing a click before static filled her end of the phone.

"Hello?" she answered in a dreary voice. She felt kind of manipulative herself for feigning tired, especially given how awake her brain was right now. Hopefully this would provide a decent distraction, or at least whatever Peridot wanted to talk about would bore her enough that she'd pass out on her own.

Peridot swallowed down her pride, voice and tears as she finally nabbed her phone off of the edge of the sink. Now that she was finally back home in her tiny apartment, the depression had set in fully.

_ ‘They aren't gonna grow back.’ _ she repeated in her mind, carefully putting her glasses on the top of the toilet seat. Thank god she didn't crush them when she fell or this would have been much worse. Her tiny apartment wasn't very wheelchair friendly, but thankfully she was on the bottom floor so it was doable.

The hard part was how small the bathroom was. Her wheelchair apparently couldn't fit through the frame and she discovered this after thirty minutes of struggle. Struggle that had tired her weak limbs out to the point of making crawling difficult. She hadn't been eating much as she detested the chore of going to the bathroom so her energy levels were in the red. Staying up over the past two days on her computer hadn't helped much but she really wanted to catch up on the website maintenance she was working on.

"O-Okay..." she let out, taking a few deep breaths. This was the most shameful, gut wrenching thing she had to do. It was going to either be Lapis or her mother and the latter wasn't going to happen. The phone rang a few times before she heard the tired voice, her lip quivering a bit before she bit it back into shape.

‘ _ Say you need assistance and will buy her dinner or something in return... Say something... Anything!’ _

"I need help." she choked out, cursing herself as her voice painfully faltered. Peridot's body was laying half on the tiles and half on the bath mat, her hair a dirty mess along with her body. She couldn't have felt more pathetic.

"Can you please... Come over an-... And assist me with my mobility issues?" she got out in a much firmer tone. It wasn't perfect but she at least sounded like she wasn't about to burst into tears.

Lapis was already standing before the word 'help' had escaped Peridot's lips. She wanted to tell her to call her assigned caretaker; That's what they were for, after all. However, there were two quandaries fighting her in the back of her mind.

One: Peridot wouldn't be able to do it. Her anxiety and pride wouldn't allow it. She just hoped it wasn't something big enough that she'd need to reign in help herself. She didn't want to get told off for attempting to help this while 'severely under-trained', as they'd always put it.

Two: Peridot asked her for help. It wasn't just properly trained nurses or doctors she had trouble talking to, even she as her girlfriend could barely hold a decent conversation with her. It was common for people who were new to her... well, her 'condition' to overcompensate by trying to be proactive and refusing help, but Peridot had gone overboard on that concept. Even common gestures like making her a cup of coffee when she's a guest at your house she'd turn down and instead try to make her own.

Given her occupation and living condition prior to the accident, she assumed it was due to having an extremely self-dependant lifestyle. What probably would have repulsed her from even so much as talking to this girl had the car crash not happened now made it hard to look at her for too long without trying to hold back tears.

"Uh, sure." she answered, only now having realized she had spent too long silently dressing.

"I'll be there in 10 minutes, okay?" Without waiting for an answer, she hung up and stuffed her phone into her pocket, digging her feet into her shoes. She ran out her door and down the line of rooms in her motel and to her bike, unchaining it from its rail before taking off down the street. She was just thankful she lived so close to the girl, otherwise she would have been forced into giving a much sadder answer and had that to blame for her continued restlessness that night.

Peridot carefully set her phone up by her glasses, rolling onto her side and scooting onto the mat a bit more. She felt like she was going to throw up, but swallowed it back down. There wasn't much to vomit back up anyway. She tried to shut her eyes and stop thinking but couldn't help wondering if this was going to be the last time she saw Lapis. She had drummed up this entire self sufficient attitude the entire time they had known each other. In reality Peridot was terrified she'd never acclimate to this kind of life. She woke up the few times she did sleep and was almost always shocked to find out her legs were really gone. It felt like a dream. She went on a car ride, fell asleep, and woke up without her lower half.

_ ‘Consider yourself lucky.’ _ they said. She wasn't dead and would maybe get fake legs some day... Was that honestly supposed to make her feel better? She heard the key to her door turn and the door click. Brave face, come on.

_ ‘Don't cry... You're just tired…’ _ she told herself, wiping off her cheek and struggling to sit up. Her wheelchair was lodged in the door, scuff marks on the frame showing how she tried to jam it inside the tiny bathroom.

Her towel was on the sink and her spectacles and phone on the toilet seat. She wore her old hoodie, a tank underneath that and her lime green shorts. She prayed Lapis had a nose bleed or something to prevent her from smelling her. Four days without a shower or even much of a change of clothes... Yeah, this was it. Lapis is going to get one look at her and tell her she can't do it.

Peridot sighed and whined out a "I'm in here..." as she heard the footsteps move through the little apartment.

Lapis tried to slow down her breathing as she entered. She had already lied about how long it would take to get down there for Peridot's sake, but she had even managed to do it in only 8 minutes. She swallowed down the dryness in her mouth and kicked off her shoes.

The first thing she noticed as she entered the hallway was the odd placement of the wheelchair. She wished she could take a detour to the kitchen and have a drink first, but she had to investigate. Peridot had sounded rather desperate on the phone, after all. She pulled the wheelchair back and peeked into the door. What she saw made her nose scrunch up in a deep frown.

Everything about her was a mess. She smelled bad, her hair was messy, she was keeping her delicates on a toilet seat of all places, and was spread uncomfortably across the ground. Her first move was to dive into the room, kneeling down and picking the crumpled mess up and into her lap.

"It's okay Peridot, I'm here." she sighed as she set her upright. It was something she had been debating, whether or not she should stop in here on her way home. It would prevent things like this, but she didn't want to come across as being overprotective. She wrapped her arms against the half of the girl in her lap, holding her tightly to make sure she didn't slip. Though she could guess from the smell, she thought it appropriate to ask regardless.

"What did you need help with?"

Peridot’s eyes shut as Lapis embraced her without any hesitation. She thought she'd look mad or even make a joke but... She just held her.

"Fucking..." she got out, rubbing her eyes and fighting the urge to cry back with every fiber of her being. You already look pathetic don't make it worse.

"Everything...I c-can't do anything..." she whimpered, almost unable to breathe for a moment as her body forced her to cry. She let out a small whine, her face pushed into the other girl's neck. She repeated this until she had to suck in air, her shaky breathing making her feel like she was going to vomit all over again.

"I-I'm so sorry! I'm sorry!" she shuddered out, gripping onto the girl's shirt and trying to slow her irregular breathing. God it hurt to let yourself become so undone in front of someone. In front of family, maybe... But Lapis was so...  _ Special _ .

She always looked like she was presenting herself as she wanted instead of how it turned out for her that day. Peridot always felt her appearance was what the world chose for her, especially now that it decided to let a drunk driver take her legs.

"I fucking… I hate this… I hate thiiis..." she whined out, shuddering as she wiped out her eyes for the hundredth time. She wanted to get up and run away but she couldn't even do that now. She was stuck and helpless.

Lapis closed her eyes, her palm circling on Peridot's back accompanied by a few rhythmic hushes. It felt wrong that she wanted to smile right now. Sure, her girlfriend was extremely upset and depressed, but she had finally let her know. It had taken nearly all of her willpower to stand by and let her act like a fully-functional human being. Maybe not approaching her sooner about it was what led up to this, but at least Peridot had asked for help of her own accord.

It took her a while to realize just how tight she was holding onto the girl in her lap, and became unsure if this was weird or not. She had plenty of training helping the disabled, but this felt so much more special than that. Her hand moved up to rest upon her hair, holding back a cringe when she realized just how oily it was. Regardless, she pushed her head into the crook of her neck, letting her cry over her shoulder. It also let her hide her mildly happy expression.

"I know... I know..." she whispered soothingly, letting the embrace draw out. She pulled the young woman back, wiping her thumb past her eyes and trying to look confident. She felt a thought of diving in and kissing the weeping mess before her dash in and out of her mind like a single beat on a heart monitor.

They hadn't been together too long, but for half a month it would've been natural to have kissed at least once by now, right? She shook the thought away this time, though it was much more determined to stay with her. She'd have to ask someone in her class who didn't have such a strange choice in girlfriends.

"I'm here for you now, don't worry. Just tell me what you need me to do and I'll do it."

Peridot held up one of her hands as she calmed down, her lip turning up as she realized how shaky she was. Half was from the crying and the other half was from hunger. She began to feel a bit safer in the woman's grasp, realizing in the back of her mind this would probably be considered intimate if it weren't for her... current state. Her watery eyes looked up at the other girl and shuddered, immediately turning her gaze downward and almost whimpering.

"P-Pretend this never happened... I-I'm pathetic and dumb... I can't sleep. I can't eat." she trailed on, her fingers massaging the dull pain around her eye sockets. That warm pain in the front of your face had already formed a few hours ago due to lack of sleep. She was passed exhausted and now just tired of being alive.

"I just...I just need to clean off and... Probably burn these clothes..." she said, forcing a little laugh as she pushed her head back into place on Lapis' shoulder.

"I-I shouldn't have called you. You were asleep a-and now you have to deal with me being a... A piece of trash.." she whined, her slow jittery breathing stifled back more tears. She sniffed and shook her head, releasing Lapis' shirt and making little fists.

"Just help me into the shower and after I clean off I'll have the energy to get around. You should go home and sleep. Th-This isn't me. I just... I-I'm okay now." she spoke, lying through her teeth and giving Lapis probably the fakest smile she'd ever forced. Her fear had replaced the anxiety and now she just wanted this to have never happened. Lapis wouldn't be able to look at her as a girlfriend if this was all she could think about! Some worthless cripple crying on her floor... Why didn't she just eat something and crawl into the shower herself…?

Lapis' expression faded as she listened to her partner go on. Her thoughts of being happy for Peridot admitting she needed help and becoming more dependant were replaced with worry for the poor creature. She had never imagined things were this bad for her. She gulped down and planted her hands on the girl's cheeks, holding her tight and looking deeply into her eyes.

" _ Shut up.  _ I am going to shower with you, make you dinner and wash your clothes. I'm not sleeping, so I might as well look after you." It wasn't until after she had finished spewing her demands that she realized just what she was saying, her eyes widening and her cheeks flushing a light shade of red. Who was she to boss someone like Peridot around like this? Their relationship wasn't that serious, and she was barely halfway through med school. And showering with her? They hadn't even reached first base! She closed her mouth and gritted her teeth. Too late to back out now.

She stood up, heaving as she tried to support her girlfriends weight. She wasn't all that strong, but at least Peridot was light enough. After awkwardly waddling out of the room to drop her back onto her wheelchair, she scavenged the bathroom for her plastic stool. It was tall enough to get her under the water, but she would never have let her even attempt to do this alone; There was too much risk of falling. Too much weight in any direction would topple something like this with ease. All the more reason to be there for her, at least.

After getting the water running, she started unbuttoning her pajama top, which for some reason she had deemed reasonable enough to wear out despite the cartoon bunny print splattered across it. She had always expected her first time undressing in front of anyone (ignoring the crowds in changing rooms) would be so much more embarrassing, but right now she was oddly calm. Her only concern was when she raised her head to see Peridot wasn't doing the same.

"Do you need help undressing?" she asked with genuine worry, slipping off her top to expose her relatively small but perky breasts.

Peridot’s eyes went wide as Lapis took charge of her. She could smell her breath and skin as she spoke. It wasn't bad or good just... her. Her face began to heat up as she processed the words.

“W-Whu...?" she let out, squealing as Lapis lifted her up. She wasn't a fan of being carried in any capacity, but Lapis was at least gentle... Strong too, apparently. She was left flabbergasted as she adjusted in her chair, her eyes staring over the taller girl as she stripped down. She couldn't see super clearly without her glasses but she was seeing the important parts. Her skin being one of those important parts.

"Uauhhhhhmm..." she let out, slowly covering her eyes with her hand and gripping the hem of her shorts. Her hand slowly lowered as she saw Lapis had turned towards her, eyes locking on her figure. This was unfair...Who has a chest cavity that perfect a shape with breast that...droop so…

_ ‘Do you need help undressing?’ _

Oh stars... Is this actually going to happen like this?! This is how she get's to see her nude for the first time?!

"H-How about you shower and I... Cheer you on from the sidelines..." she spoke, nervously looking to the floor and forcing a fake laugh. This was not how it was suppose to happen… Not by a long shot!

Lapis sighed to herself before wandering over to the doorway, kneeling down in front of her charge. If she didn't feel so obligated to take care for her, being there in front of her girlfriend topless would have been something very different.

However, the part that still wanted to kiss this blushing wreck was pushed aside in her mind for now. This felt more like a job than a relationship at this moment, but it was a job she loved to have. Her arms dug under the hem of Peridot's hoodie, lifting it up slowly and carefully.

She was about to see her girlfriend naked, and on top of that she was naked too. It was funny how her priorities worked, in retrospect. Her glazed eyes ran over the girl's upper body emotionlessly as she removed her tank top. It felt like her body was desensitizing herself to this sort of situation for future use, but she still really wanted this to mean something.

_ 'Try and look at her body, Lapis. You should be feeling something.' _ she heard in the back of her mind. Peridot was... Well, regardless of her previous height she was very small, in every regard. She had short messy hair, a thin waist and flat undernourished stomach, and two small peaks on her chest that one might be able to consider breasts if you used the term loosely. None of it made her aroused or embarrassed to look at in any way, because the more she stared at the girl the more her body overflowed with worry.

If she hadn't chosen to study in that wing of the hospital for that week, what would have happened to Peridot? Something tells her that no matter what, she wouldn't have called the nurses. Did she have any friends or family that could help her? She pushed back the urge to cry as she pondered the other possible scenarios, happy she could be here for her now at the very least.

She stood back up and started pulling down her jeans, tugging her underwear down too. It seemed only fair to undress first, and she didn't want her girlfriend feeling alone in this weird moment.

Peridot's eyes looked at just about everything except the girl. This was a nightmare... She felt ugly, smelled ugly and most of all couldn't even think of what to say! The rustling of her nasty clothing hitting the floor filled the room, her arms covering her small chest as Lapis finished stripping herself down. She had to look. Her eyes stared at the girl's legs and hips and kicked herself for even looking. She was perfect... Of course she was perfect. Just enough curve and probably the smoothest skin in the world, through the second compliment was more of a guess with her blurry vision.

"Stupid… Stupid…” she mumbled, hesitantly reaching down and sliding her shorts down and underneath her butt along with her panties.

"Please don't stare at this... I hate taking off anything over these stupid… Stumps." she whined, sliding them off and instantly covering herself. She hated looking down even slightly. Her mind kept tricking her into thinking they were still going to be there.

"I should have just called my mom or something… This is so stupid…” she whined again, her head staring down into her lap as she felt Lapis' eyes roll over her small body. A crippled, broken, disgusting mess in the presence of a Goddess. Peridot wondered if they could ever look passed this... Could someone really find someone that looked the way she did sexy? Even if she had both legs she was still a mess currently.

"Let's get this over with and pretend it never happened!" she cried out suddenly, shuddering as she realized she'd need Lapis to lift her to even move… If she tried to get out of her chair she'd probably slump down into a puddle.

Lapis gave a small nod as she was brought out of her stupor, leaning back in to wrap an arm around the small stump-legged girl's waist. She held her against her hip as she picked her up, her other arm under her ass for support, feeling her lips grating against her. She felt like she was carrying an oversized toddler. The thought almost made her want to laugh, but she didn't want to make Peridot feel even more uncomfortable that she was now.

She let out a groan of discomfort as she started waddling back over to the shower. Was it just her, or was she getting heavier by the second? She set her down underneath the now warmed-up water, letting it run down her before stepping in to protect her. She gave a small laugh as the water started to run down her fringe and in front of her head, brushing it back and adjusting the angle of the showerhead.

She looked over to the collection of shampoos, conditioners and body soaps. It seemed rather gratuitous for someone of Peridot's lifestyle... Or maybe she just didn't chuck out the old bottles. She looked through them and picked out whichever shampoo was the newest, bending over slightly and offering it to her. It was then that she noticed she wasn't moving. She was breathing at least, but she was just... staring. At her.

It was then that a small splash of red finally managed to force its way onto her face. This situation was very... Well, she couldn't think of a word. 'Strange' and 'Odd' came to mind, but neither depicted the weird mix of worry, care and possibly arousal on Peridot's half. She cleared her throat, averting her eyes until the girls could do the same.

"Uh... Do you need me to wash your hair?"

Peridot hesitantly grasped the bottle and ran her eyes up the other girl, one hand grabbing the stool she was sat upon.

"Define...'need'." she let out quietly, the sensation of Lapis' skin on hers still tingling away as she adjusted in her awkward little shower seat. They should be hugging and kissing and... saying cute things. This was just so weird.

She went ridged as Lapis stole the bottle back and began to wash out her disgusting hair. She could already feel the oil being cleaned from it as she shut her eyes. She fought back a moan as the fingers dug into her scalp and massaged away her pain. She had to have done this before…

"Thanks..." she mumbled out, clenching her eyes shut and shaking as she was watered down and sudsed up again. Rinse and repeat. Finally her hair was clean and it was on to the 'hard' part. Peridot ran her hair back and swallowed as she looked up at the now soaked beauty before her, unsure what to do. She needed to say something…

"You...You've got a great body!" she blurted out, fists clenching on her stool and mind considering falling into the tile in an attempt at suicide. That just came from her mouth…

Her eyes moved down to Lapis feet and her wet body shivered, clenching her thighs together. Peridot was making this worse than it should be... Lapis was so stoic and calm and not even thinking about her in a sexual way. Which was... That was good, right?

"I-I can do this myself! You don't have to pick me up like a baby!"

Lapis blinked down at Peridot in confusion. She had come into this expecting her to behave uppity, but something seemed off about her behavior. Even for the little time they had spent together, they had never really appreciated each other's looks besides a traditional  _ ‘You look great’ _ when they went out on their coffee dates.

It seemed inappropriate to say things like that, at the constant risk of offending her. Their relationship wasn't traditional love, or sex, it was based almost entirely off of needs. Peridot needed someone approachable to look after, and despite how she'd assure herself she didn't, Lapis needed someone she could look after personally.

Being able to make people happy had driven her through all of her career choices: Her short-lived cooking career, the babysitting she did when she could devote the time, and now medical school. Peridot managed to be everything that she needed to fulfil her desires, and it made her ashamed to hear legitimate compliments. She squatted down to bring herself to the girl's height, gingerly resting a hand on what remained of her right leg, accompanying it with a gentle smile.

"...You have a great body too." she responded in a glassy tone. Entirely ignoring the situation and their current state of dress, she leaned in and pressed her lips to hers, trying to convey just how much this small girl mattered to her through a kiss.

Peridot's eyes tried to look away but they stayed locked on Lapis face, her expression souring at the compliment. Even before the incident she wasn't the most confident in her body but now it wasn't even a question. Her lips parted to tell Lapis not to lie or try to make her feel better but they were stopped. A terrible, unexpected kiss that made her shiver and whimper. Her eyes were wide and then squinted shut, her tongue feeling the slightest teasing touch from Lapis'. Their lips popped and smacked softly, the hesitation agonizing as Peridot pushed into a second and then third kiss. It was everything she wanted and more only... It felt hollow. It couldn't have been real... It was pity, right?

She pulled back as her fear took over, sliding back on her stool and panting for air. Her flustered expression searched for something that wasn't Lapis to stare at and sadly it had to be her own thighs.

"I'm sorry... I-I can't.." she got out, half of her screaming for more and the other half thinking it was a mistake. She was making it worse.

"This isn't... It's not supposed to be like this!" she struggled to work out, her form a shaking wet mess.

"This... Isn't romantic! I'm gross and ugly and… And a fucking miserable mess!" she shuddered as tears flowed out of her eyes.

"I’ve never had a great body! I don't even HAVE an entire body now!" she was starting to falter in her speech, hand wiping off her face as she looked up to the beautiful girl.

"I-I don't want pity!" she whined, wishing she could crawl into her bed and just hide for the rest of her miserable life. Romantic shower scenes didn't have incapacitated crybabies in the cast. Peridot wondered what made her call Lapis instead of anyone else... and one thought came to her mind. She'd take care of you.

"I-I'm sorry..." she whimpered hiding in her hands.

Lapis' eyes were burning as she watched Peridot's episode, holding back her own despite how easily she could have hidden them in the water. Ignoring her retreat, she pushed forward, linking her arms behind the girl's back and hugging her against her chest. She shuddered from the contact. Peridot felt cold amidst the heat of the shower, her skin prickling her own.

She was right, what should have been romantic was instead a strange, cold embrace. But that wasn't what she needed or wanted from her. Something about taking care of this girl made her happy in all of the right ways, and she wasn't sure if there was a way to say that without coming across as shallow.

"This doesn't have to be what you think is 'romantic'." she whispered into her ear. Her hold became more protective, feeling like she might lose her forever if she surrendered her grip now. She could feel the weight of her head pushing down on the corner of her breast, causing another shiver. She should have waited until they got out of the shower and dressed before getting emotional. After a silent curse, she managed to drum up something to support her statement.

"Do you think I wouldn't love you if you weren't perfect? Peri, I love you regardless of what you look like or what happens to you." That statement hung on her lips as it escaped her mouth. Had she ever said that before? Her eyes opened, only now becoming aware to how inappropriate the level of contact they were sharing was.

_ “I love you…” _ she repeated in a whisper to herself, as if trying to understand the words.

Peridot’s heart was racing as she was protected in the girl's arms, her face pushing into her skin as she spoke to her. It hurt so badly to be this vulnerable to anyone. Peridot's entire life revolved around her self sufficient cockiness. She cooked for herself, learned by herself, and was proud of herself. Her mother was distant to say the least so she decided to be her own cheerleader.

But now she had no pride left. She had a beautiful girl... A beautiful woman holding her and confessing real love for her. That was what she had said, right?

"Lapis..." she choked out, her large eyes able to see all the details in Lapis face as she told her again in a whisper. This was so much more than she could handle but Lapis calming voice somehow made it bearable.

"You're... So amazing..." she got out, losing herself in the ghosted hint of freckles on Lapis' face. Was her hair always that blue? Was her nose really that cute when water dripped from it?

"I love you too!" she chirped out, her chest rising and falling a she drew near hyperventilation. Her body was shaking from fear, anxiety, hunger and excitement. Her hand reached up and gently moved Lapis' wet hair off her face so she could see her better. She sniffed a bit and quickly pushed her face back in the girl's neck, holding onto her so she wouldn't float away.

"I love you too..."

Lapis found it difficult to let go. She had somehow voluntarily surrendered her personal space and comforts for this girl, and while she wanted to pull away and try to maintain her pure image, she really wanted to stay like this for as long as it took. Not just stay there, but continue to advance on her and show Peridot just how much she meant to her...

**No.** She wasn't that kind of girl, and they hadn't been dating for that long. She wanted to bash herself around the head, but instead gritted her teeth and bared it until both of them had tired from the hug. She pulled back and took a deep breath, feeling remorse as she watched her girlfriends expression.

_ 'We can do more later, I promise'  _ she told herself. No, she shouldn't be thinking that. She was still plain Grade-A Lapis, she wasn't going to lose her vi-... _ That _ tonight. Not with everything that had happened. If this were any situation in the past and she was having these thoughts she would have been angry at herself. Maybe it was because Peridot made her feel this way, or these were thoughts she had always had that she hadn't been comfortable with without her.

She pulled her reddening cheeks away from her, resisting the urge to dive in for further, more heated kisses. She grabbed the loofah hanging over the edge of the shower wall, letting it get wet before drizzling a bottle of bodywash over it.

"Uh, let's finish cleaning you up, okay?" she said hastily, eager to change the subject and try to drop the romantic tone they had finally managed to attain. She stepped to Peridot's side, squashed up against the glass as she ran the sponge across her back in a slow, circular motion.

Peridot nodded quickly as she pulled back, her own face probably as red as a tomato considering how pale she was. Her back arched and she laughed a little as Lapis scrubbed her down. Soon they found a rhythm with one another, Peridot asking for her face cleansing bottle and finally freeing her face of all the oil trapped in her pores.

They scrubbed and washed, Lapis being kind enough to lift her in a hug while she washed more… Intimate spots. That was probably the most awkward part, but after that it was fine. As Lapis reached for the handle Peridot stopped her and spoke.

"W-Wait… Let me do you." she spoke, immediately regretting her choice of words.

"Your  **hair** ! Let me... Wash your hair…” she finished, awkwardly snorting a laugh as Lapis sat down in front of her and allowed her to suds up her blue mop. She scratched through her scalp just as Lapis had done for her and then watched as the woman washed herself free of the bubbles. Peridot was staring again.

"Okay… Done, I guess." she spoke, the pair turning off the water and Lapis leaving to towel herself off first. Peridot used the opportunity to stare with no trace of shame once Lapis had a towel around her face. Was she jealous of her legs or just attracted to them...?

She woke from her daze as Lapis tossed a towel over her head and rubbed it in, making Peridot snicker as she finished the job. Soon they were mostly dry and Lapis held out her hands for Peridot to assist her from the shower stool.

Lapis awkwardly danced across the room on the tips of her toes to get a second towel for Peridot. Yeah, this was definitely not a house designed for her. Her relatively small amount of training let her count every single thing that wasn't easily-accessible or obviously found within the room. She needed a renovation or... Her.

She felt like she had been punched in the gut as the thought hit her. They couldn't possibly move in yet, could they? They hadn't been seeing each other for more than a month, and they hadn't really done that much together, ignoring the past 10 minutes. Would that really be okay? But... Peridot  _ would _ need a in-home nurse if she didn't move to a much more expensive apartment, and wouldn't it be better if it was her rather than someone she didn't know or trust?

These thoughts tangled and fought together in her head until it became an incoherent mess, and she clutched her head as if trying to physically pull them out. That would have to be a matter to ask about for their next... Whatever  _ this _ was. What was this? It had started off as just help from an inexperienced student nurse, but everything had so quickly become something more.

She heaved Peridot into her arms, and would have been terrified of what exactly was touching what in this situation if she wasn't starting to feel very, very heavy. She nearly wanted to scream by the time she had got her back to the chair, making sure the towel was tucked in under her legs so she wasn't uncomfortable. She gripped her knees and panted, feeling like her arms would fall off if she had to do that even once more.

"Do you... Hooo... Have any clean clothes somewhere?" she asked, turning her head up to her charge. It was probably weird acting like this while completely undressed, but she was too exhausted to care now. She could worry about dressing herself back up after doing the same for Peridot.

Peridot adjusted in her chair for a moment, wrapping what she could of the towel over her lower half and not bothering any longer with the upper half. They both had boobs... Okay well Lapis did and she had nipples.

"Yeah... And for the record you can stop hamming up the breathing..." she snarked, rolling back her chair and moving to her dresser to dig around for her pajamas.

"I'm not that heavy..." she mumbled as she rolled, pulling out her alien boxers and little t-shirt. She slipped the single gold star tshirt and shimmied on her boxers, the towel coming out from under her butt and wrapping over her damp head. She spun herself around and stifled a gasp as she caught sight of Lapis' rear as she was slipping her own clothes back on.

_ ‘You're acting like a pervert... It's just a butt...A perfect one but still…’  _ she told herself, rolling to the bed and crawling onto it with a sigh. It felt so good to be clean. Her bed sheets were a bit disheveled but nothing too severe as she had all but ignored sleeping for the past month or so.

"Thank you... I'd probably still be on the floor if you didn't come... Let's never talk about this for the rest of our lives." she ended simply, resting her towel in her lap and scratching her messy hair back. She dared not look up at the girl lest she begin staring like a goon all over again.

Lapis felt a twitch in her eye at Peridot's comment, whispering a joking 'fuck you' under her breath.

"One... I'm a lightweight." she spoke as her breathing started to regulate itself.

"Two... You're not." she grinned as she looked over to her. Peridot seemed to be handling dressing well enough on her own, and felt a wave of guilt wash over her when she realized how much she had wanted to do it for her. There must be something twisted in her head. Has to be. She was getting excited by the concept of treating Peridot like a child. The very notion made her want to tear her hair out.

She narrowed her eyes as her lips pursed from the sour thought, focusing on getting back into her evening wear. The jeans could be left behind for now. She'd probably be passing out soon, and there was something that tickled her about that particular state of dress in the right company.

She chucked the remaining pile of mixed clothes in an otherwise empty basket, making a mental note to clean them later before retrieving her charges glasses and phone from the toilet lid. By the time she reached the bedroom, she noticed the terrible unwashed smell was back. She wanted to respond to Peridot's demand, but the only thing she could focus on was how unhygienic the room was.

She stormed into the room and messily shoved her glasses back onto her face, trying not to come off as upset or annoyed. The girl hadn't been in a good state after all, it wouldn't have been fair.

"Right, okay. Get back on your wheelchair, I'm not letting you sleep in this."

Peridot grumbled and slid her way over to her chair again, falling down into it with a huff.

"Blauugh... Fine.." she whined, fixing her glasses and crossing her arms. Peridot grumbled at the other girl, her eyes trying to look anywhere but her legs. They were so... long. Envy and attraction caused her eyes to drift over them more than once, especially now that she could see properly.

This whole situation had gone from pure embarrassment to a sleepover atmosphere and now, with Lapis messing with her bed... It felt like her mother was in town. Straight, perfect, meticulous. Everything has it's place and all will be in order with mother dearest visits.

Peridot neglected cleaning her place long before she had been in the accident, so nothing really phased her anymore. If a shirt fell under the bed or even a bit too far from her dresser, it became glued to wherever it landed. The place had a 'lived in' feel but not the standard one. More of a  _ ‘the apartment's owner died long ago and some hobo has been squatting in it recently’ _ kind of feeling.

Lapis struggled under the weight of blankets, bedsheets and pillow covers. Judging from the smell, they hadn't seen replacements in... Years? Lapis cringed. In any other situation she would have preferred to be as far away as possible from this kind of girl. And yet here she was, doing Peridot's housecleaning.

She poked her head out of the side of the pile to stumble through the hall, bumping it into the washing basket to bring it to a comical height.

"How does she live like this..." she muttered to herself. She would have shouted it, but her conscience kept her from doing so. At least she could take care of her now. Her face flushed again and she rested it in her hands, trying to rub her blush out. It was undeniable that...  _ Something _ was going to happen tonight at this point, but she still had no clue what, and was unsure how she should feel about it.

She returned after ruminating on the slightly uncomfortable thought and looked through the drawers and cupboards in search of replacement sheets, feeling a pair of eyes burning into her rear as she bent over. In the bottom drawer she found herself recoiling in disgust yet again. The sheets were covered in dust.

Was Peridot really so helpless, even before she lost her legs? A part of her mind wanted to joke about how at least now she got the help she needed for free, but that was too morbid. She dug through them until she found the cleanest set, pulling them out and starting to lay them across the bed. She turned to Peridot as she did, concerned by her bored yet tense expression.

"Don't worry, I'll just be a few more minutes."

Peridot leaned forward with her chin in her hands as Lapis dug through her things, wondering if she'd ever just ask where certain things were. Her sleep deprived mind started to wander as she stared at the puttering girl, scanning over her curves with laser precision whenever possible.

She half mumbled out a "No rush..." before averting her gaze a bit. She was almost having flashbacks to her mother making her bed... Always warm sheets fresh from the wash before bed, acting like a hug that never ended when she was tucked in.

The image of Lapis with her mother's tacky hairstyle flashed in her brain and made her unconsciously grimace. Lapis' hair had to be as it was... without that electric blue it was hardly even her anymore. She pushed up her glasses and twisted her chair to the bed again as Lapis finished.

"Thanks..." she let out in her nasally tone, crawling into bed and feeling like... Well, a child. Having to crawl like a monkey over her new(ish) sheets always brought that feeling on, but this was ridiculous. Lapis wasn't her caretaker and she had done far too much for her already.

"A-Are you gonna go home after this? It's super late... Dark..." Peridot hesitantly spoke as she scooted up into her pillow.

Lapis scratched at her neck, trying to avert her gaze. Peridot's desperate attempts to climb up her bed were sad and adorable enough, but now every corner of her mind was screaming at her to tuck her in.

'No!' she screamed back, 'She's not a child! And I'm... I'm not her mom!'. She felt a twitch in her body as the girl pulled her own sheets up. Was she really that desperate? What was making her think like this?

"Uh, it  _ is _ super late..." She repeated, trying to justify her thoughts in her head. It wasn't like she'd sleep if she went home, but something about Peridot made her eyelids feel heavy. She was... Well, she was cute in a nerdy way, but something about her was pleasant and it tickled Lapis to no end.

"I was thinking I could just... Sleep on the couch." she continued, desperate to avoid what was worming its way up her throat. She wanted Peridot in so many ways. She wanted her to be happy, she wanted her to be comfortable with herself, she wanted her to love her, she wanted her to scream for her... It was a tangled mess in Lapis' head that rooted her to the spot, for fear of falling under its weight if she took a single step.

"Or... In here." Damn it. There it was. Her eyes scanned the pile of clothes on the floor, somehow finding the mess more endearing than annoying right now.

"With you."

Peridot's lips fell open at the first suggestion, her heart probably cracking the bones in her chest cavity it was pumping so hard. She couldn't get the words out!

_ ‘Don't sleep on the couch! Sleep with me!’ _

No no... too much.

_ ‘Don't sleep on the couch! Get in my bed right now!’ _

Better, but still too much. Her eyes rose up to look at the hesitant blue haired goddess staring at her clothing mound.

"In here is good! In here is... Perfect." she spoke, glancing down at her bed and wondering for a moment why it seemed so large... Oh yeah, she used to take up more room.

Peridot couldn't be sure where this was going, but her muscle memory controlled her every move. She lifted herself over the comforter, throwing it back and patting the spot next to her. She had wrangled a hot girl into her room for once and all her mind can think about is  _ ‘Will she tuck me in properly?’ _

She felt like she was going to explode as Lapis rounded the bed and slid her way onto it. Now they were together at the head of the bed, Peridot terrified to even look to her right. If one took a snapshot of this moment they would probably consider them some old married couple.

"I-Is this alright? I'm not making this weird, right? I have a tendency to do that..." she rambled on.

Lapis could feel every cell in her being exploding. There wasn't a better way to describe it. She was so close to Peridot... In bed. They were sharing a bed together. She had never shared a bed with someone before. This should be freaking her out but the only thing in her body was an excitement that no one could see or feel except her.

Her hand slowly wiggled its way under her partner as she rambled, trying to prevent herself from laughing like every ticklish part of her body was being abused. She could feel electricity run through her veins as their skin touched, pulling her into a tight hug as she laid down.

"It's not weird. It's wonderful." she commented, trying to give a smile that from her side was sure was more akin to a twitchy mess. She pulled the comforter back over them, resting it over their shoulders and resting on their jaws. She shuffled the small amount of her head that was visible over to Peridot.

Everything felt so right at this moment. She was sure things would have been awkward, that after all of this she would have to lie about this being great, but right now this was the only place on earth she could imagine herself being. She pressed her lips to the girl's forehead, inhaling what - in the right conditions - was a very pleasant scent.

"You're wonderful..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis - for lack of a better term - goes down on Peridot, and Peridot gets to learn what it's like to feel attractive in somebody's eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first of the two smuttiest chapters of this work is up! Had to edit a few more things this time around to maintain cohesion and make the characters feel closer to how they're portrayed in the show. Chapters will probably be smaller from here on out, as it's easier to identify good stopping points in the narrative.
> 
> I also changed the name of the fic to something that seemed nicer, and tidied up the summary a little too!

Peridot was sure she was vibrating. Her internal organs were turning on her outward form and causing her to shiver like a Motorola phone from 2005. Lapis had her hands on her... She was touching her!

"Uhh…” she got out, slowly laying down with the larger girl and biting the inside of her lip as she was drawn in so close. She smelled so good… Her body was so hot… Wait, no. Her face was just incredibly hot… Her body was a comfortable temperature. Her hands felt locked in place and soon she hand to rest them against Lapis' chest.

She melted on queue with the soft kiss, sweet nothings tickling the inside of her ear as Lapis' calm voice spoke. Peridot hadn't felt so completely taken care of in a long time. She felt so safe and secure in the girl's arms she was scared if they ever separated she'd have to live the rest of her life just waiting for the next moment to be together again. Wouldn't be the worst fate…

"Y-You're great, Lapis… Thanks for-… For taking care of me." she worked out, swallowing roughly and very slowly moving her vision up to the other girl. She wondered in that moment if Lapis would want her glasses off or on. Did she have a preference for that kind of thing? If they kissed, would they get in the way?

"I'm glad I called you… Instead of someone else." she choked out, her ruby red cheeks warming the air between their visages.

Lapis was tickled with every word that buzzed in her ear. She already knew how hard it was for Peridot to admit something like this, but in this instant its impact was nearly ten times as strong. She could feel her girlfriend's eyes burning into her neck and chest, but instead of embarrassment, the only thing she could feel was the heat of her face and the warmth of the girl in her arms. Every other feeling or sense that didn't help to accentuate their love seemed to have faded away.

Peridot's heartbeat drummed in her ears, intertwining with her own as they fell into sync. She could hear her breathing and feel the heat disperse across her own neck. Everything in this moment felt perfect. One of her hands cupped Peridot's chin, gently tilting her head back until they were facing each other.

"Hey…” was all she could think of to say as she stared into her sparkling emerald eyes. At least she stopped there, anything further might have ruined the moment. Her eyes were glued to hers as she found herself catching every small detail about the girl. Her breathing was slowing as they grew more intimate, and the pores on her cheeks became more evident as they reddened. She finally closed her eyes and pushed out her lips, pressing them to Peridot's in a kiss that made her feel like she was melting into the bed.

Peridot felt so self conscious as they touched and grew closer, her fingers feeling the outline of Lapis' bust through the thin fabric. She felt her heart thumping along with her own, her thighs squeezing together when her chin was touched.

‘Oh stars…’ she spoke inside her buzzing brain, her eyes trying to inspect every detail of Lapis' face. Why didn't she have a single flaw in her skin? It was unfair how beautiful she was… Then again, being as Peridot was being held by her new caretaker she was probably on the positive end of the unfairness. She was the luckiest girl in the world! Well, luckiest in the relationship department. Mobility wise, not so much, which became more apparent as she shuffled against the mattress in an attempt to push herself closer. All in the hips. Her eyes closed a second after Lapis, wanting to stay open to be double sure this was a real kiss and not an accident.

"Mmmph… Mmmm!" she mewled, her fingers gripping into Lapis' shirt and holding on tight for fear of floating away. She wanted to be completely hers in this moment. 100% Lapis' girl. It was wet, messy and tasted so peculiar but all of that mixed together was pure heaven. Her glasses turned out to be a tiny bit of a hindrance, however. If Lapis would want another kiss, they'd probably be throw across the room if it were up to Peridot.

Lapis found herself smiling into the kiss. Even at a point like this, Peridot found a way to be adorable. The way she was clinging to her was childish, and she had to press hard onto her lips to ensure that the rocking of her lower body wasn't enough to disrupt it.

Her hand slithered down her spine, tickling from the static energy in her shirt until she rested it on her lower back. With a few pushes and tugs, their hips were touching and secured together by her hand. Her head was swimming with thoughts as she moaned back into Peridot's mouth. She wanted her to love this, she wanted her to feel comfortable, but the thought burning prominently in her head was that she simply wanted her to be happy.

Her hand ran down further, resting on what there was of the girls thigh, her thumb brushing against it as their lips finally parted. She hid her breathlessness in a long, smooth exhale, smiling down at the girl in her arms.

Peridot's lips were still puckered, eyes still closed as if demanding more rather than wishing for it. She released a small giggle before leaning back in, driving her glasses back up the bridge of her nose with the tip of her own.

Peridot felt so tingly and ticklish and had to stab her thumb nail into her hand to keep herself from laughing. She was certainly not used to being this close to someone, much less a beautiful nurse. The kissing was… Like a movie. The noises they made together were exactly how she had pictured it probably an unhealthy amount of times in her head. Her mind buzzed with what to do, thought processes failing as they kissed again and again.

The smaller party usually put their arms around the other's neck but instead she was gripping her like a desperate child... Move your hands! Clutching onto her isn't sexy, right? Well... judging by how the kissing was going she figured she must be doing something correct. Her body and the other girls had become super heated underneath the covers, their jostling and shimmying making their skin tingle with warmth. Peridot pulled back a bit from the kiss to breathe properly, her mouth panting out her foggy hot breath against Lapis' neck.

"W-Wait… I wanna try the… Ahhh…” she near whispered, her nasally voice barely audible as she parts her lips with Lapis'. Soon their tongues awkwardly met in the air, their mouths almost sealing together as they found a pattern they enjoyed with one another. It was so... lewd. This was more than a kiss it was exploring someone's inner being. It was girl-on-girl spit swapping that Peridot had read about online in obscene detail. She was letting go of her desire to do anything correctly and simply wanted to do it with Lapis, badly performed or not.

Lapis let out a few groans in discomfort as Peridot's tongue awkwardly thrashed against hers. Introducing something more than innocent kissing made her feel so inexperienced, despite how much she felt like the leader of the couple. She wasn't the kind of girl who watched porn or did... Well, anything other than closed-mouth kisses with any partner she ever had. It was her turn to feel her entire face start to burn, her tongue feeling weak as it was guided about by Peridot's stronger organ.

She didn't know if either of them were doing it right or if they were even doing well, but regardless of either of their performances the experience was still overwhelming for her. The grip on both of her hands tightened, unsure if she was squeezing anything sensitive but unable to care. Her mind was melting as Peridot's tongue thrashed about in her mouth. Her lips dragged along the length of the girl's tongue as she pulled away, her mouth hanging open dumbfounded as she tried to put words to her state of mind.

"I… That… Uh…” stumbled out of her lips before they were mashed against Peridot's once again. Her hands confusedly journeyed around the girl's body, along her back and over her arms and her rear as she tried to find some way to hold her to further express what this moment meant to her.

Peridot's back arched involuntarily, driving her body into the other girls as she gripped her butt. She squinted her eyes a little tighter and pulled from the kiss, sucking in air in a whining gasp and pushing her face into the girl's neck. She felt like bugs were crawling all over her skin, very much not used to being touched anywhere on her body. She realized Lapis might think she didn't like it so she scrambled to wrap her arms around the girl's neck.

"Mmmph!" she let out, her face pushed into the soft skin of Lapis' collar and neck. Her tongue was still tingling and she swore she could still taste Lapis on the tip of her taste buds. She wished in the back of her mind a tutorial screen would pop up... Maybe a pause button as well so she could collect her thoughts. There wasn't any guidelines to this kind of thing, really… They just did what felt good. Peridot swallowed a bit roughly, collecting up her courage before leaning back a bit and staring at her girlfriend's face. Her mind immediately went blank and all she could say was "You're so pretty…” in her small nasally tone. She laughed a tiny bit, the awkward pause making her eyes dart around before she spoke again.

"Uhh… I like the touches… J-Just not used to it being someone else's hands.."

Lapis was more than content to not breathe for a while after their lips parted once again. The way Peridot looked in this moment was looking and acting in this moment would have been enough to suck all of the air out of her regardless. Her grip tightened around her girlfriend's waist, rolling onto her back and tugging her on top of her as well. Now she couldn't escape. She wished she had a camera in the back of her eye that could take a photo of this, to look at every single day at school or at work to remind her what awaited past that. It was rather greedy, wanting this adorable little nerd all to herself, but she felt she had done enough to deserve one act of selfishness, and she wouldn't need anything else. Everything else in the room seemed to shrink away from them as she stared into the bright green eyes awkwardly manoeuvring their way around her upper body. Maybe she could allow herself to be selfish just once more tonight…

"Well… Where do you want my hands?" she found herself asking. Her cheeks filled as she realized what had just escaped her lips. She knew nothing of sex in any fashion. She hadn't watching any pornography or even so much as touched herself, why was she so confident she could pleasure this girl? Something in the back of her mind chimed back, echoing Peridot's words to her. It wouldn't matter if she was good or not, as long as it was with her she knew she would do well. She clenched her teeth beneath her lips, taking a deep breath. She wasn't going to waver on this, not now.

Peridot slowly pushed herself up on top of the girl, the comforter sliding down her back as she balanced on the taller girl's body. She pushed up her glasses and slowly began to trust Lapis' hands as her hip support. Without calves of any kind it was up to the nurse to secure her on the perch.

"W-Well you can touch wherever you want!" she worked out, snickering a bit as she placed her hands on Lapis' stomach. Her hesitant attempts at humor made her feel all the more in the spotlight which was quite unnerving.

"Don't let me fall…” she spoke, her lip almost pouting as she started to slip her shirt up and off her body. She cursed herself as the chills ran up her spine and made her nipples turn into little diamonds in the open air. Lapis had seen her already... why be so embarrassed now?

"Movies… Make this seem easier…” she grumbled, her glasses catching on the shirt and nearly falling off her face as she tugged the shirt away. She pushed them back up and threw it to the side of the bed, her hands returning to Lapis' stomach for support. Her expression grew a bit fearful as the other girl's eyes stared over every inch of her.

"Y-You look like you're gonna eat me, Lapis…” she spoke, her heart thumping inside her small chest cavity and threatening to knock her over if she wasn't careful. She had already seen her but now… Her eyes were really looking.

Lapis was on Peridot in a heartbeat. A part of her was laughing at her comment. She really did want to eat her up. She attacked the small peaks on the girl's chest, sucking on them and gently nibbling on the teat. While one hand stayed on her hip to support her, she massaged her spare breast with the other until she could switch. Everything about Peridot's body, the way she moved, the way she squeaked with enjoyment and the way she grabbed her in response all seemed to guide her to exactly where she needed to be. She could feel fireworks going off in her mind as her brain was flooded with endorphins, her movements becoming more assertive and aggressive.

She raised her eyebrows up to look at Peridot's face, finding little more than a trembling, melting visage. So cute. So adorable. She could see her lips tremble and her nose twitch with every suck and bite, burying her thighs into each other in response. She eventually plucked herself off, replacing her mouth with her other hand as she brought herself up to the girl's eye level, panting and smiling. If this were any other time she would have hidden an expression like this, but she was so happy and so eager to share that joy that she completely disregarded that notion.

"D-Do you want me to take mine off too?" she asked, her eyes flickering as her head still buzzed with excitement. Her hands idly palmed Peridot's breasts as she awaited a response, staring hopefully up at her and wondering what it would feel like to have her own pair treated in this manner.

Peridot squealed and gasped, her arms flailing in the air before they wrapped around the other girl's hair.

"Oh my stars!" she gasped out, her chest pushing forward and body convulsing. She started to laugh a little, her awkward breathing turning into panting as she remembered what a toe curling sensation was. Her arms held Lapis in close, her sensitive little nubs sending electricity through her small form with each lewd lick. She went flying passed sensitive and into a hyper-aware state, swearing she could feel the very texture of Lapis' skilled tongue. One eye clenched shut as the girl's hands felt her up, the excited aura Lapis gave off quickly infecting her to the core. Was seeing her naked that much of a turn on..?

"That feels good… Ohhhoooooo!" she cooed downward, her voice vibrating in a falsetto as she pushed her nose into the blue hair below. Her hands slipped to Lapis shoulders as she pulled back, her expression bringing an even larger smile to Peridot's face. Lapis wasn't normally so excited or happy… Giddy even! Her eyes slipped downward as Lapis posed her question, Peridot's head nodding extremely quickly and making her glasses fall to the end of her nose. She assisted in the stripping, reaching by Lapis' side and throwing another pillow behind her so she could lean back without fully laying down. Her eyes took a moment to roam over her form, her mouth watering as she leaned down.

"W-Wait…” she mumbled, taking her spectacles off and setting them to the side. She figured a pair of wire frames digging into breast flesh might ruin the mood.

"You have really… These are nice." she spoke, snickering a little as she slowly cupped one and brought her lips down. She wanted to do as Lapis did to her but her method was more calm... more similar to nursing than teasing. Her compulsion to suck and kiss the girl's breast turned to obsession rather quickly, her face settling in with her hands held to Lapis' form. Peridot felt small but… In a good way.

Lapis' expression calmed somewhat as Peridot took her turn. Her heart was still racing but her giddy smile gave way to a simply content, motherly smile. One hand slipped back down to hug their waists together while the other slid further up. She brushed a few stray hairs off of the girl's face before caressing above her cheek. She wanted to ask if she'd be alright without her glasses, but watching how she aggressively suckled on her tit it seemed rude to interrupt her. Her body continued to calm down, letting their eyes meet several times as she began to comb her fingers through Peridot's messy head of blonde hair.

Her heartbeat was dropping, and her breathing was returning to a regular pace. It felt strange. Everything in their relationship had indicated that in this sort of situation, things would be the other way around. She should be the calm, gentle one and Peridot should be the more fast-paced and feisty one. Despite that, this felt so… Right. They could both revel and share the joy of expressing the feelings they hid throughout their regular lives without worry of upsetting one another. If she wasn't still feeling so heated, she might even have started humming to liven the maternal atmosphere Peridot was setting for them. Instead, she gave a pleasured coo and chuckled.

"Having fun…?"

Peridot woke from her trance as she was spoken too, pulling off and quickly wiping her mouth with her wrist.

"Ahhm… Sorry I just… I dunno where that came from." she spoke, her hands slowly running up and caressing her chest again before she lowered back down, this time to the ignored breast. She glanced up at Lapis face before shutting her eyes and licking around the little nub. She did this for a few seconds, only to soon fall back into her comfortable position and suckling on it lovingly.

The feeling of protection and safety she received from Lapis' arms was incredible, though in the back of her mind she was wondering if this was going to become awkward. She wasn't trying to elicit a moan or sexual explosion. She was… Just enjoying it. She prayed mentally that Lapis wouldn't crack a joke, the word 'Mommy' flashing in her head and instantly becoming an unsettling prospect. All this combined, she still remained in her spot, worshipping her girlfriends chest and receiving some deep seeded satisfaction from being comforted like a child who had the roughest of days. This was something you should discuss with your partner, she thought. Instead of speaking however, she merely opened her bright green eyes and looked up at her protector.

Lapis gave a relaxed sigh through her nostrils, though her hands were still trying to occupy themselves. She wasn't bored or by any means discontent to spend the right of the night (or maybe even the rest of her life) like this, but her body was still craving more. Her hand ran from Peridot's hair down her back, sweeping past her rear and gently massaging her thigh, while the other was satisfied with running over her back in wide, circular motions. She felt like her pupils were shaping into stars as her eyes met yet again with her girlfriends, not even needing to hear a single word to know what this meant to her. She pulled her in closer, her heart pounding against Peridot's cheek and burying herself into the small girls hair.

"I'm here for you." she responded to Peridot's silent statement, her next breath much shakier than the last. She knew how to lead this moment where she had wanted it to go, but she was finding herself afraid to. This small moment of bonding was so significant that breezing past it felt criminal.

"Just tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it," she paused, her first attempt to use the word becoming little more than a puff of air that escaped her lips. "…sweetie."

Her entire body tingled as she forced the pet name out. It wasn't anything sexual or particularly characteristic of Peridot's behavior or anything fitting Lapis' mannerism's, but it felt right. It wasn't an embarrassing name you'd only hear from an old mother, but it was innocent and specific enough to convey how she thought of her at this instant.

Peridot felt something shake within her core as Lapis' voice curled into her ears, soothing any trace of worry from her mind with her gentle tone.

‘Oh thank Diamond…’ she repeated in her head, her heart thumping with more love rather than anxiety. Her lips caressed her soft flesh and her small sucking noises acted as background noise for the rest of Lapis' whispering. Tell her what to do... Anything she wanted. Her eyes popped back open at the innocent name, looking at at Lapis' face almost curiously. Peridot wanted Lapis to do so many things but she had to only choose one to begin, resulting in an overload of wicked thoughts. She finally decided and hesitantly removed her lips from the woman's now hardened little nub.

"Ahh…” she let out, wiping her lip and sitting up a bit.

"I guess I want - uhmm… I want you to touch me. Like, really touch me." she worked out, not wanting to use any specific words out of embarrassment. Talking opening about this stuff, even with the person you're doing them with always seemed to make it feel silly. She assisted in the removal of her pajama shorts and panties, their lips meeting again for a small but very love filled kiss. Peridot could see fairly well without her glasses this close up so she didn't miss them falling all over the place as they made out. Her heart lurched as she was compelled to request another act from her lover.

"And I want you to talk more… My voice is annoying, to me anyway… Yours is so pretty and nice! I uhh… Could you…” she trailed off, her face feeling like it would light on fire at any moment.

"Praise me…?" That's the word she chose and it was too late to take it back now.

“Tell me… I'm good?" she posed, her nervous smile faltering a bit as Lapis' hands roamed over her bare rear again.

"I'm here for you too!" she burst out, laying her head back against the girl's chest and kissing its center.

"You're mine… And I'm yours."

Lapis was still shaking from what she had said to properly absorb Peridot's words at first. It was just a simple name, and yet it made her toes curl up in excitement. She gave a half-minded nod before finding the small bundle in her lap shuffling about and guiding her hands to its shorts.

After completely undressing her, her hand went to work as she was brought into yet another kiss. She pushed back and moaned into her girlfriend's lips, her inexperienced fingers sliding along the length of her labia and playing with her clit. While everything else about Peridot's body seemed to have been mapped out for her, this was the one major complexity left out. A brief thought passed through her head, that maybe this girl was as inexperienced as her outside of her own self-play. She felt… 'Tight' against her finger. What she was assuming for someone else who had - at the very least - touched themselves, that there wouldn't be so much resistance to whatever her finger was doing.

There was another buzz in her head at the second request, the edges of her lips curling up until her smile reached from ear to ear. Her lips pursed briefly to give a small nod, her hands instantly getting busy. She felt like this was a bike she had never ridden before, but everything about it suited her so well that she could ride it with almost no practice. Her hand slipped up from Peridot's rear to her hip, helping roll her over to rest her back on her front. With just the fingers of her other hand she spread Peridot's thighs, resuming messily rubbing her folds as if trying to present her to someone. Possibly herself. She craned her neck over Peridot's shoulder, her own legs tightening as they both looked down at the same display. She turned her head and buried it into the side of the girl's face, planting a large smooch on her cheek. Her other hand reached up to grope at her small breast, her eyes closing as she enjoyed the intimacy and the scent she gave off.

"Mhm… You're my good girl." she praised, feeling a surge of confidence at her own words. While a part of her was telling to comply to the girl's request, the rest was purely for herself, convincing her that she was hers. Not to possess, not to own. She was hers to make happy. She was the only person in Peridot's life who could do that, and that responsibility filled her with joy.

Peridot felt so obscenely exposed the moment she was touched, her body squirming and pushing against wherever Lapis' fingers went.

"Oh stars…” she whimpered out more than a few times, the contact of their skin touching giving her sensations she never knew existed. Soon she was presented to the world, or at least Lapis' world, completely. Her stumps spread by the guiding hand left her shaking with embarrassment. Her eyes were squeezed shut, only to instantly open and look to her lover as her words tickled her ear. Her cheek tingled from the loving kiss. Peridot opened her mouth to speak something in return, only to trip over her own muscular control and let out a whimpering whine of pleasure.

Lapis' fingers had gotten busy, spreading her lower lips apart and massaging over her clit over and over. Being touched by a foreign hand was enough to make her skin crawl in certain places, but Lapis' fingers against her sex just felt right. Her right arm slowly raised up and around Lapis' head to scratch into her hair, her neck turning and lips meeting the other girls as she was toyed with. Her hips bucked and wiggled, tongue licking over Lapis' lips in appreciation for taking such care with her.

"I-I'mm-Hmhmmm… I'm your good girl… Ahaaa… Hmmm! Don't stop touching me…” she begged and pleaded, her eyes looking into the other girls before fading shut, their lips meeting again and again to satiate their need for more close contact.

Lapis granted as many kisses as Peridot desired, adding another digit to toy with her sex. Her legs wormed their way up the length of the bed, hugging against her girlfriends to completely encapsulate her against her own body. With the next break between kisses, she gave a smile and planted another protective one on her forehead.

"I won't, Peri." she promised before diving back into her lips. When she closed her eyes, it became even easier to read Peridot's body. Her clit was essentially a tiny pleasure button. It didn't matter if she tweaked it, tugged it, pressed it or gripped it, it was the easiest way to make her girl moan. The sensation of having her gasps and moans escape into her mouth as their tongues coiled around each other was thrilling. Her fingers slid further down to toy with her entrance. It was tight, and smooth, and she could feel her lips pushing back against her every time she teased it. Her fingers wiggled from side to side as she tried to work her way into it. She didn't want to hurt her Peridot in any way, even if it meant she wouldn't be able to break her hymen tonight.

"I'm here and I'm not going to let you go." she whispered into her neck when they broke from their next kiss. One finger managed to work its way just deep enough to graze against the girl's insides, but after a few nervous rubs she pulled back to pleasure her sex, letting more of her juices coat her fingers. She was so tantalizingly close to stealing away Peridot's virginity, but she couldn't do it yet. She wouldn't let herself hurt her until she was ready.

Peridot shuddered out her next moan as Lapis comforted her, head curling away as the tickling whispers in her ear turned into kisses on her skin.

"Oh my stars…” she whined out, turning her face back as Lapis lifted her head away from her skin. They kissed again and again, somehow teaching one another how to properly do it. They had a rhythm of taking turns with their exploration, lips occasionally sucking the others tongue to end the connection. Peridot wondered in the back of her mind, had it not been Lapis, would this be so enjoyable? Could there be anyone else this caring in her life? Lapis made her feel pathetic by comparison but beautiful by recognition. Her hands were giving her so much pleasure she thought she'd explode at any moment. Her hips bucked and shook at times, thighs tightening up and closing a bit on her hand.

"I-I can't hold this forever… You're torturing me." she growled, gritting her teeth and squealing through her nose as Lapis began to grind her upper palm on her clit.

"Lapis… Lapis Lapis Laahaaaapis…” she whined, arms both wrapped up around the girl's neck for support. "I love this… I love you… I love when you take care of me! Oh my stars I'm gonna cum! Oh my stars! Ohhaaaa!" she was nearly hyperventilating, her back arching and lip quivering as she quickly coated the girl's hand in her love. She was riding on Lapis' fingers like her life depended on it, her thighs spreading wider as those fingers worked her clit over one last time.

"AHAAA! Ahhh! Ahhaammm!" she got out, eye darting around the room looking for something to focus on.

Lapis' hand shook against Peridot's crotch as she felt her spray against it. At one point both of her fingers slipped inside of the girl, but she was too awed by the display to recognize it. Her other arm held onto her waist protectively, fearing what would happen if she fell off of her in this condition. It was a rather odd thing to worry about, but she was in no condition to think rationally at this point. She slipped her fingers out and covered Peridot's sex with her hand, enjoying its heat and trying to defend it from the world around her. This was her Peridot, only she could do this to her. She could feel her heart beating loudly in her chest, and her head throbbing as she continued to look down, her palm slowly circling on her girlfriend's clit to continue into a heated aftersex. She ground their cheeks together after giving a loud exhale, wanting to enjoy this moment herself, but also wanting to remind Peridot that she was still there.

"There… Good girl… You did well…” It felt odd hearing those words come out of her mouth. She was the far less experienced of the two, how could she know what she was talking about? She gulped down, hesitating before her hand slowly retreated.

"Do you want me to… I don't know… Clean you up?" This was something people did, right? Due to her choice in friends throughout her school years, sex talks weren't something she got often, but among the ones who shared her orientation it always seemed that there was this ritual after their partner climaxed. She turned her hand around to look at the hot mess on her hand, seeing it glisten under the dim light overhead. It didn't necessarily look tasty, but something instinctual drove her to want to taste it. She took a deep breath and pursed her lips, hoping she'd hear a 'Yes' before anything else. She didn't want to pass up this meal, not while it was still hot.

Peridot's felt the sensation of falling more than once as she rocked through her orgasm, her brain screaming to her to hold on or something terrible may happen. She didn't know what this inner anxiety was or why it drove her to hold onto her lover even tighter, but she didn't dislike it. Physical affection was a tricky thing and for her to be lucky enough to find someone so compatible was a miracle in and of itself.

Her eyes rolled back into her hand and there was a line of drool now reaching the bottom of her throat that had once started at the corner of her gasping mouth. Her sensitive lower body tingled like mad, back arching and hips convulsing each time Lapis continued to toy with her. Peridot mentally facepalmed as she involuntarily grinned from Lapis' words. You're being turned into a pet if the words 'good girl' made you smile like that. She kept her face turned down to hopefully avoid any extra embarrassment. Her eyes caught sight of Lapis' shiny hand, her face turning up to the girl and nodding.

"Yeah… Yes. I've never…” she trailed off a little, hands holding the protective arm lovingly.

"Never that hard before… That was amaaazing…”

Lapis required a decent amount of force to escape Peridot's arms. Every attempt to pull her off was met with a tightening of the girl's grip, like a human-sized finger trap. She would have mocked and commented on how clingy she was, but in truth she was being just as bad. Right now, Lapis would do just about anything to keep Peridot on this bed with her for as long as she could, hopefully forever.

"Let me just…” she muttered under her breath, finally prying arm from the protective hold. Her free hand then wormed their way under her body, gently sliding her down to her side. Though she tried to participate with her other hand, she didn't want to spread the cooling liquid across Peridot's body. She dragged herself down to the end of the bed, rolling over and propping herself between her lover's thighs. Each arm wrapped around one of her thighs (she hesitated to use the word 'legs' in this sort of situation), holding her just as protectively as she had nearly shamed her for earlier. She extended the middle finger of her wet hand and traced it up and down her sex, collecting more of her juices on it before bringing it to her own lips to taste. She sucked her finger in deep, puzzled by the strange flavor yet interested to try more. Whatever it was was strong, and the taste was an indiscernible mixture of sour and some bizarre kind of sweetness. She pulled her finger out and began cleaning her palm with her tongue, still no more aware as to what it was she was tasting, or even if it was something she enjoyed. After cleaning her hand, she dug her fingers into Peridot's thighs, holding onto her possessively and staring daggers at her lower lips.

"Just… Let me know if I need to stop." she warned before diving in. Her eyes were closed as her tongue messily danced around her lover's crotch, cleaning up around her folds before digging her tongue into them, running her organ up to her clit as she tried to clean her of every single drop.

Peridot's eyes watched with such intent she had to remind herself to blink. Breathing also warranted a reminder as she stared at Lapis' tongue gliding across her own hand. This was entirely unfair, not being able to return the favor in any way from this position... yet Peridot didn't stop her. Peridot nabbed her glasses from the edge of the bed, slipping them on in a panic as she felt those arms take control of her 'legs'.

"Oh-hmmhm… I didn't think you meant… Like…” she hesitated, Lapis' hungry expression after having tasted what Peridot had to offer was jarring to say the least. She yanked the pillows from behind her without ever letting her gaze move from Lapis' face. Soon she was comfortably leaned back against them with the sexiest nurse in the world, blue hair tickling her thighs. In Peridot's head, this is where she braced for the butterflies on her skin, but that didn't happen. Lapis' words made her realized she wasn't going to be kissing away the remnants from her thighs... she was going to devour her.

"Oh my stars… Oh my stars! OHH! Ohhh sweet Diamond!" she uttered out, hands immediately slipping into the girl's hair and holding her firm, somehow her brain thinking if she stopped her head's movement the tongue would stop… It did not. Peridot's back not only arched but cracked as the tongue reigned across her lower lips and clit, her hands weakly tugging at Lapis' messy hair unsure whether she should pull her in or off.

"Ohhhmmmygooooshhhhh…” she slurred out, head falling back against her support. Peridot's private escapades usually ended with a single, abrupt ending. This was the first time she had gone so far, and she adored it.

"LAaaaaAAapis!"

Lapis continued to lick, desperate to completely clean Peridot but constantly presented with more to scoop up in her tongue. She felt like she had tapped into a tree, unable to drink down Peridot's sap before more trickled out. She felt a tug at her hair, raising her eyes to find it being gripped onto and roughly tugged on. Much like Peridot, she couldn't tell if this meant she should stop or go harder. Before she could pull her tongue away to question, she found she was being faced with another climax, though this time she was squirting directly into her mouth. Her eyes widened and she wrapped her lips around her lover's sex, trying to seal it off and drink down every last drop of her second orgasm. Thankfully, despite the sensation of what she considered to be nearly drowning on Peridot's love, it soon finished up and she was left with comparatively less to clean.

After a few more licks, she pulled away and gasped for air. She slid back up the bed, crawling over Peridot until their were looking up and down at each other again. She gave a tired smile and dug her arms under the girl's torso, pulling her up into a hug and burying her head into her neck. At their height they were only being held by her spread legs, and her stomach hit her girlfriends every time she breathed in. There were so many things she wanted to do and say in return for the experience her lover had given her - though for Peridot it was probably the other way around - but the first thing to burst forth from her lips was an apology.

"I'm… Sorry. That was… I was… Well, I don't even know what happened there."

Peridot panted like a tired dog, shuddering as Lapis finished up and started to adjust positions. Her body felt weak, yet energized. She wasn't sure if she should be embarrassed or not, but decided to lean towards 'not' as Lapis had the most pleasurable tongue in the universe, in her opinion. She blinked a few times as she was pulled into the loving embrace, her eyes shutting for a moment as she inhaled Lapis' scent. She reached up and pushed her glasses up to wipe the tears that formed on the edges of her eyes. Her mouth was a bit sticky, saliva production slowly speeding up as she roughly swallowed and wrapped her arms up around her girl's neck. She planted a kiss on her skin as she listened to her hasty words, her brow furrowing as she leaned back and stared at the other girl. She was silent for a moment, the pair staring into each others eyes.

"I just had two of the best orgasms of my life… Don't apologize." she spoke, planting a kiss on her lips and rubbing her nose against the other girls before sliding down and resting her head back on Lapis' chest. She couldn't believe that had just happened... her muscles were still vibrating and skin still tingling with delight.

“That was… Amazing. You. You're amazing. I… I don't know if what we did was too soon." she spoke, her face pushing into the girl's skin for comfort as she thought of her next words carefully.

"I love you." she said finally, happily groaning as the comforter was flipped back over them both.

"When I called you I never thought this would happen but I sure am glad it did." she spoke after another bout of silence.

"I know this is… Abrupt. We haven't been formally dating long. You don't… Have to say that back. I-I know where I stand and you can decide later. If you want to forget this happened and slow waaaay down… I'd understand!" she kept talking. She really would not stop talking. She couldn't even brave looking at Lapis expression while she prattled on.

"I mean I'm eager to… Return the favor if you want. But you can say no! I don't want to ruin this. Us. I think… I know we're good together!" she finished, the silence unbearable to her now. Peridot had run out of things to say and resigned to simply kissing Lapis' collar, her warm breath sighing out of her nose.

Lapis gently brushed her head against Peridot's hair, taking in the atmosphere in one deep breath before pulling the two apart again, looking down at her. She tried to give a comforting smile, but tears were building up in the corners of her eyes and she couldn't hold them back.

"I love you too." she spoke shakily, her lips trembling as her smiled curled up even further.

"Of course I love you too." she repeated before leaning in, replying to her lover with a drawn out kiss. She leaned down until they were both back on bed, rolling them onto their sides while keeping their lips locked. Her head rolled from side to side, pushing herself into Peridot's lips with as much force as she could. A part of her wanted to respond to every single thing that she had said, but for now it would all be condensed into this, so she had to make it count. After she was satisfied with her 'conversation', she pulled off and rolled onto her back, one arm still protectively wrapped around her girlfriend.

"I'm fine with moving as fast as you want." she let out, feeling her cheeks heat up. She would be lying if at this point she hadn't already married them and had children in her head. It was probably just years of pent up hormones catching up with her, but it made her feel clingy and guilty. She swallowed down the saliva building up in her throat and turned back to her, meeting her eyes and trying not to show how embarrassed she was right now. Even though she had been so aggressive when it came to Peridot, when it was her own body and her own virginity she was talking up, she couldn't find her confidence.

"And uh, if you want to 'return the favor’… That's cool…”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot wants to return Lapis' 'favor', but ends up going even further.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! This is the last chapter I've finished editing on, so the next might not be ready as soon. Don't worry however, there are still plenty of chapters already written, just unedited. There should still be a decent speed for the next few releases.
> 
> Also for those who have been asking, next chapter is where the Momkink/MD/LG themes start to become more apparent! Get ready!

"Do you… Would you… Uh… Need help?"

Peridot smiled, laughed and grabbed at her girlfriend between kisses. She was so happy and relieved all at once it was like a truck lifted off her heart. Was first time sex supposed to be this cathartic? She quickly nuzzled her face into Lapis skin, her smile never wavering as she was tickled with more honeyed words. ‘Move in tomorrow. Take care of me for eternity. The floor and everything else in the world is lava you can never leave my bed.’ she thought, realizing Lapis' words were a bit too freeing. One step at a time, Peri. Just being pressed skin to skin with someone felt foreign enough, but with Lapis it was just right. So firm and soft in all the right places. Her eyes stared up at the other girls with wild curiosity, biting her lower lip as she recognized the expression.

"'Cool' huh?" she retorted with a snorting laugh, lifting herself up with her hands and leaning down to kiss Lapis' cheek and lips soon after.

"N-No I can do it. I'm not helpless, you nerd." she whined, beginning to crawl down between Lapis' legs. It wasn't the most graceful motion… Or even very sexy. It was a little Peri-crawl.

"How do you live with these long things? They take up so much space. Just cut them off. Useless, I say." she proudly speaks, smacking her calves and nodding affirmatively as she got between her thighs properly.

"You… You don't smell like me." she spoke, wondering how to follow up a rather odd statement such as that. She nuzzled her face down one of Lapis' thighs, smiling up at her and wrapping her arms up and around them as she got into position.

"You smell really nice. Tell me, uh… If I'm doing okay." she spoke, her breath sliding against the girl's wet sex. With a slow, hesitant tongue lick up the girl's lips, she shivered. Soon her tongue was everywhere and her eyes couldn't remain open. She slowly shut them and focused completely on satisfying her girlfriend. One sliding lick up, a circling around her clit a few times, then sliding back down. She began to kiss and suck, experimenting by working her tongue inside a little. She wasn't the most skilled, but enthusiasm made up for practice.

Lapis raised an eyebrow at Peridot's quip. She wasn't sure if she should laugh or feel sorry for her, so she opted to just leave her mouth shut, staring down at the odd little girl crawling between her legs. Even if she had been instructed otherwise, there was an overwhelming urge for her to pick up the girl and do everything for her that she couldn't shake off. She dismissed it as another hormone issue and sat herself up, pulling the comforter back once again to look down at her. She hesitated to use the word 'pitiful', but the way Peridot tried to move on her own for Lapis' sake made her want to cry. All she could do was give a nod, resting her hands at her sides and raising her legs over her lover's shoulders. Her hands were almost instantly threatening to tear off the fabric of the pillow cover, her teeth clenching and her legs threatening to squeeze Peridot's head between her thighs on instinct. She shot up to hold them spread, responding to the sudden onslaught of tongue with moan and a breathy

"Oh Peridot…"

She started hyperventilating and her toes curled up. She wanted to thrash and flail and moan as loud as she could, but she had to keep herself steady. Everything in her body felt like it was being tickled by Peridot's tongue, and she in return closed her eyes as she continued to moan. What was it she agreed to say, again…?

"Very… Very good… Peridot…"

Peridot figured she was getting the hang of it by Lapis' rather adorable movements. It looked like she had no clue what to do, or rather she was fighting off the urge to do something else. Her arms gripped and squeezed her soft thighs, pulling them in with all her strength and letting Lapis squeeze her for a minute. It felt like heaven… Heaven had to just be infinite thighs. So soft and intimate… Peridot was also fairly sure she was the first head to be there so that made her want to perform a bit. If she still had feet they'd be kicking in the air behind her. Her eyes slowly opened, staring up at Lapis' face with all the innocence of a child looking under the Christmas tree. Her suckling kisses and licks moved up and faded away, her lips kissing on Lapis' thigh and curling into a smile.

"I love you…” she whispered, unsure what one usually said when they were feasting on the other. She figured she liked hearing the words so they'd fit for Lapis' sake. Before returning to her licking, she paused and spoke one more thing.

"You can grab my hair… And as long as you don't kill me, squeeze all you want, okay?"

Peridot's tongue ran up her sex's length again, suckling down on her clit as it reached the top. Her moans, smacks and licks were all she or Lapis could hear. It was a lewd symphony for them both. One thought Peridot couldn't get out of her head was how far she could go. She wanted to one up Lapis in their escapades, feeling like showing off would somehow cement their relationship further. Her tongue began to trail down past Lapis' pussy, towards another entrance of hers…

Lapis let out a tearful 'Mhm' as her hand slid from her thigh to Peridot's hair, holding onto it just tight enough to grant her some satisfaction. Every lick made her squeeze the messy matte of hair, giving Lapis some feeling of control over the situation. The tongue running over her sex felt so foreign... It made sense that with how she treated that part of her body that anything would, but it felt particularly strange to have this small wet organ flicking against it. But behind that tongue was Peridot, and she looked just as embarrassed and entranced by the situation as she was.

She spent the next few licks hunched over her, her eyes focused on the girls back rather than the action going on under her head. That was, until she felt her tongue tread to different unexplored region of her body. She gave a shriek and and clenched her hand on Peridot's hair before she shot back, her back slamming into the drywall and threatening to break through it. Her hands planted on the wall, panting as her entire upper body heaved against it. She stared down at her lover with wide eyes, scared, puzzled and feeling a mess of other confused emotions fighting for control within her.

"W… What was that?!" she let out, sounding much more offended than she had intended to be.

Peridot's tongue gave a second lick, only to be met with the open air. Her eyes blinked open and glanced around, realizing Lapis had darted away at near lightning speed. It took her brain a few clicks before she realized what Lapis was reacting too, then she started to grin. Her grin turned into a giggle as she pushed up her glasses and looked up at the other girl.

"Uhhh…Nyeh heh… I thought I'd go lower… I didn't know you were so squeamish." she said with a tiny shrug and a lick of her lips. She could still taste her. She pushed herself up further, stumps dragging behind like a mini mermaid tail making the view from the front quite normal. If you didn't know better you'd think her feet would kick up at any moment behind her head. Her small chest squished a bit between her arms, her face turning a bit concerned as she eyed her lover.

"I didn't mean to scare you… I won't go there if it makes you go all road runner on me." she offered, crawling up to the girl a little more and laying back down with her elbows holding her chest and head up.

"May I continue…?"

Lapis' legs curled up in front of her, her eyes drifting off towards the closed curtains as she caught a lock of her heavily dyed hair around her index finger. She twisted and toyed with the lock, her other hand hugging her legs as she drew out an 'Uuuuuuuhhhh' that seemed to last for hours. She hadn't even properly lost her virginity yet, was she really going to let Peridot do things there first?

Her eyes shifted back to the girl resting just below the pillows, of which she was now occupying in their entirety. She watched the grin give way to confused frown, feeling her heart snap right along the center. She had made Peridot unhappy. That one singular thought filled her entire head and instilled a sense of dread in her. The last thing she could ever want on earth is to see Peridot upset or crying. Her rear started to slide down the pillows, her legs lifting away in a rather miserable attempt to present herself to her lover. There was no way she could say no to that face. She dreaded what the consequences of this might be in the future as her head slid down the drywall, finally resting on a pillow as her ass slipped back into Peridot's range.

"Go… Uh, go ahead…” she instructed meekly, turning her head away and biting down on her curled finger. She could at least hope that this would feel nice…

Peridot's full smile returned as Lapis' shy nature finally crumbled and gave in.

"Psh… I'm the cripple with glasses. I'm supposed to be the nervous one." she preached in her nasally tone, her arms tugging Lapis down an inch further and her lips attacking her soft thighs.

"Mmmmwah!" she chirped out, tickling her with reassuring kisses and hoping in the forefront of her mind this would be a comfort to Lapis. Having someone you love in an intimate space like this was… Nerve wracking for sure, but it was also something that made your heart soar. Her eyes looked through her glasses up at Lapis face, one more little lip extending 'smek' on her skin finally getting a little laugh out of the blue haired girl.

"I got you… I won't do it if you decide you don't like it." she spoke softly, shutting her eyes and slowly lapping up her folds a few times. They fell back into their rhythm, Peridot's stomach tightening and thighs flexing as she felt Lapis' hips push into her mouth.

"Hmmmmm… Mmmmmm…” she groaned into her, tongue worshiping her clit over and over before her tongue could scoop up through her sex and drink in as much of her honey as she could get to. She kept this up for another minute before slowly pushing one of Lapis' legs up and licking lower. She teased over her skin, her other hand pushing up and forcing her knees to the sides of her chest.

"You'll like it… Don't worry." she spoke, her tongue slowly grinding up against Lapis' tight little ass. She held her hands on the taller girl's thighs, her mouth drooling down over her curling muscle as she threatened to almost enter through her back door.

Lapis was grateful Peridot was giving so much attention to her sex - at least now that she knew what else was in store - but also was annoyed by it. This was her first time, and Peridot seemed to know just what to do to her. At this point she had lasted longer than both times it had taken for her lover to climax, but it was taking all of her willpower to keep from doing so. Having experienced it first-hand (and first-mouth), she knew it was a very messy ordeal, and despite them having already been ruined twice by her girlfriend she really didn't want to stain the bedsheets. She would have asked to get off the bed and climax standing somewhere else if it didn't seem so strange and outright embarrassing. And then when she thought it couldn't get any worse, Peridot's tongue started travelling lower.

She resisted the urge to run away this time, though her expression was still just as shocked. It was like the air was cold enough to make her shiver and her teeth chatter, but it was still just too hot to demand a jacket. She was trapped in this limbo and her body wanted to convulse and flail on response to her lover's tongue, but in her attempts to be less awkward and disturbing for the girl's enjoyment, her body was essentially locked in place. She swore she could see the paint on the wall melt from her gaze. The thought of enjoying this (or hating, she still couldn't identify what these sensations rested on more) sickened her, and she wanted to scream at herself as she realized she was getting dangerously close to climaxing from it. She wanted to say something to stop Peridot or at least get her to slow down, but all that came out was gibberish intermixed with coos and light moans.

Peridot found herself not even batting an eye at the taste. In her mind this was a thing people did out of kinky desire and they forced themselves to do it... But it wasn't bad. It was just a little musky... but the good kind of musk you only wanted more of but didn't understand why. She licked circles around her muscled ring, her tongue attempting to push inside a few times before resigning to resume her gentle, drooling laps. Now that Lapis was enjoying herself, clearly evident by her moaning, Peridot's hands slowly curled around and made their way to the girl's wet pussy.

Peridot groaned as her arms squeezed onto the girl's lovely thighs, her tongue working double overtime on her sensitive back door. Her fingers ran up and down her lips, eyes staring as she started to toy with her clit in little circles. If Peridot could have comfortably done so her butt would be swinging in the air. This was unbelievably fun… Though a bit unfair with Lapis' stamina. She pulled back, hot breath panting against' her cute little pucker for a moment before she ran her tongue back up. Her fingers never ceased their onslaught on her hard little button. Her only goal now was to make Lapis lose her mind. Lapis had already tortured her through the greatest orgasms of her life so it was time to return the favor.

"Mmmm, so yummy…” she whimpered, tongue sneaking up to toy with her button some more before trailing back down and pushing into a long, wet kiss with her asshole.

Lapis' legs were shaking and finding their way around Peridot's back, still biting down tightly on her finger. Her other hand reached up to claw at the side of her face, her middle finger tugging on her eyelid as she resisted the urge to moan even louder. It wasn't fair, Peridot couldn't be as good as she was! She had made it her job to take care of everything for this girl, how could she feel outclassed by her in any sort of physical activity. It was hard to judge between the two, but she was sure this girl was doing better than her. Why was this annoying her so much?

As soon as her mind tried to escape her annoying existential questions, she was instantly trapped back in the torment of where Peridot's tongue was. She was a young, chaste, uptight med school girl, why was she enjoying getting her ass tongued?! Was Peridot really so good to mess with her mind through her ass, or was this some twisted kink she was developing? Delving too far into either option seemed to make her thoughts even worse.

She could taste blood on her canine, realizing she had finally pierced through her skin. She raised her head and noticed that she was squirting directly onto Peridot's face. Not into her mouth, like she had done during the girl's second orgasm, but nearly everywhere above. Her glasses were becoming coated with her juices, and she felt lucky that they had been their to intercept what would have been a very gross 'ejaculate in my eye' situation. It wasn't anything she had to deal with during her medical studies, thankfully enough, but she imagined it wouldn't have been all that pleasant.

Peridot moaned a little, wondering if a slap to the girl's thigh was in order as one of her feet came down a little too hard on her back. For the most part they were dainty but one heel plant gave Peridot half a mind to 'punish' the girl. Her eyes flitted opened as she felt her back door tighten and relax, Lapis' mewls and whimpering reaching a high pitched whine as Peridot's fingers ran over her clit over and over.

She ran her tongue up as she realized just how much Lapis was tensing up. Her glasses were already wet and fogged, a sight that made her stare in wonder as her mouth clamped over her lower lips and nurse her through her orgasm. Her fingers never ceased for a moment on her swollen little button, tongue now gliding up and down her sex to drink up all of her honey. "Mmmmmmmmm… Mmmmm…” she growled, her glasses falling to the tip of her little nose as she slowly brought Lapis back down from on high. With a rough swallow and lip licking smack, she raised up a bit and brought her fingers to her lips.

"Mmmmm… Felt pretty nice, huh?" she teased, wiping her chin with her arm and grinning up at her shaking lover.

Lapis did little more than whimper and grasp whatever of herself she could as the orgasm was shaken out of her. There was the noise of water and moaning and some sort of white noise-like static flooding her ears. She was sure it was her voice she was hearing and her body, but she at this point she felt detached. It took a long time for her to fall back into sync, pulling away from Peridot again and rolling onto her side. She curled up into a semi-fetal position, shaking infrequently and trying desperately to regulate her breathing. She didn't expect her body to be affected so greatly by this. She looked up with tears in the corners of her eyes, meeting Peridot's messy glasses and nodding with a quiet, "Uh-huh..."

She curled back up for another decade or two (read: several seconds) before one of the hands she was clutching against her chest left to invite her lover. Another year passed in her mind before she realized just who she was asking to move, and her body reluctantly got back into action. She rolled onto her back and shuffled down the bed, hooking her hands under her girlfriend's armpits and dragging her up to her height. With complete disregard for her honey that was smeared across her glasses and her own thighs, she pulled her into a tight hug… Well, a hug isn't the best description. She was treating Peridot as her anchor to this plane of existence, holding on tight for fear of fading from it. Her leg hung over one the girl's stumps, awkwardly rubbing as she tried to find a comfortable place to rest it. She shivered and breathed shakily over her shoulder, closing her eyes as hard as she could.

"Hug me. Really tight. Please."

Peridot tried her best at wiping off her glasses but soon realized they weren't going to be 100% clear without a cloth. Her gaze stared up at Lapis who seemed to have had her world, solar system and universe rocked. Peridot's pride took quite a boost though it was turning into concern until Lapis loosened up a little. Peridot was about to take the visual queue to come join her, but Lapis shifting made her pause. Her face turned a little sour as she was pulled up like a baby into her lover's embrace. She could get around on a bed just fine… Soon her face was in Lapis' neck and she was being clenched with so much desperation she could hardly believe it. Her arms worked around Lapis back as she spoke, squeezing with all the might she had left in her and kissing on her skin.

"You did really good… We both did. I-I'd give us an A+." she spoke against her skin, stroking over Lapis' back for added reassurance. She felt so loved and needed… She had to be there to take care of Lapis too now! The adjustment for her was hard but if Lapis would stay and they do it together it shouldn't be an unpleasant one. Her fingers took her glasses off and put them back on the nightstand, her face nuzzling into the girl's bare skin instantly as she pulled her back close. She wondered for a moment if they could have such a pure, loving moment every night… Maybe every other night. Don't wanna ask for miracles.

"I love you… Grr!" she whined, squeezing tighter.

Lapis pursed her lips and blinked away a tear, stifling a small giggle at Peridot's comment. Even if she was her charge, she was always able to pull her out of whatever mood seemed to cling to her. She was so nerdy, so awkward, so adorable. She was slow to loosen her grip, even if she would have been fine maintaining this hug for the rest of her life. Judging by the retention, Peridot felt the same way. When she finally made it out, she held onto her lover's shoulders and gave her a goofy, quivering smile.

"I love you too…” she whispered, leaning in to press their lips together. There was no tongue or open mouths involved this time, only a chaste, loving kiss. Peridot's skin prickled her, although it was a feeling she was finding rather enjoyable. Even after their lips parted, her nose danced around the girl's. She had never quite understood the concept of eskimo kisses before. They had always looked odd, and did little more than cheese up some romance movies she guiltily watched. But this made sense. The electricity, Peridot's smell, all hers without needing to make it anything more. She slipped back down over her shoulder and gave a dreamy smile.

"Does that count as extra credit?"

Peridot squinted a bit too hard into the kiss, her nose sucking in air as they parted and her eyes scanning over Lapis face rather quickly. Every kiss felt new and exciting, no matter how small. Peridot wondered in the back of her mind if they felt as enjoyable to Lapis as they did to her. Were her lips soft enough…? At least she hadn't felt that dreaded teeth touch she'd read about happening, so they were on the right track. Peridot found herself grinning like the goofy idiot she was deep down as Lapis and her rubbed noses. It was so innocent and pure compared to the depraved things they had been doing… Then again, Lapis made everything seem more pure in an odd way. Her form never alluded to anything slutty or lewd, just beautiful. 'Man you're a cheeseball. Don't say that out loud.' she told herself.

"Yeah… A++ now. We're moving onto AP classes since you're too much of an over achiever. Nerd." she spoke to her in her quiet, nasal tone. Her arms squeezed her as her teeth shimmered in the light, her grin returning as she lost herself in Lapis' calm stare.

Lapis didn't take too long to break into a laugh. She was infinitely more amused than she should have been in this situation. Maybe it was the endorphins swimming in her head. She was filling the room with her laughter, unable to keep her head still until she brought her hand away from Peridot to press the bottom of her palm into her face, rubbing her eye. Her other arm squeezed her lover tighter, and suddenly there was a pressure against the girl's side. She was rolling over, and lifting Peridot on top of her. Her other arm joined to assist after her bout of laughter came to a close, resting her head back against the pillow when she finished.

Her gaze ran up the bedroom wall and along the roof before landing back on her girlfriend, who was staring at her with wide, curious eyes. She found herself locked in the stare, blinking several times in confusion. It was a strange feeling that was hard to put words to. Her body wasn't craving Peridot's kiss, or her tongue, or any other part of her body… She just wanted Peridot. Somehow this closeness felt even more amazing than the sex, or their kissing, or anything they had experienced from each other in the past several weeks.

"Stars, I love you so much…” she unknowingly let out, finding herself drawn continually deeper and deeper into those olive green eyes.

Peridot snickered along with her lover as she fell into her laughing fit. She knew she wasn't that funny but Lapis just seemed genuinely happy… It made her cheeks hurts and heart lurch a bit.

'Oh my stars, remember what this sounds like. She sounds like an angel…’ she repeated, wiping off her glasses and wiping out her eyes as they calmed down. She calmed her breathing as Lapis tugged her in close, their eyes meeting again and locking together firmly. Lapis words sounded so genuine and almost surprised. She felt the emotion so strongly it was actually surprising her and it was honestly surprising Peridot as well.

"W-Well I love you too so much! You're really… Amazing, y'know." she garbled out, biting the inside of her lip and glancing away for a second but returning to Lapis large eyes. Was she staring into her soul? Peridot could feel the almost painful heat in her cheeks being inspected by the taller girl… She wanted to move or do something but she didn't really want the moment to end. No one had ever looked at her that way before. No one else probably ever would.

Lapis felt dumb for nodding in response. It wasn't an appropriate reaction, but it was the only thing she could think of. After a few more blinks she pulled her eyes away, realizing the strain on them was much heavier than she had thought. A hand dragged down Peridot's back and off of her thigh, grabbing the comforter and pulling it up to rest just over the girl's shoulders. Of course, this meant it didn't much it too far past her own stomach. She was willing to bare the cold in order to keep this position, however. Peridot looked so delicate, lying on top of her, head resting on her chest. All that mattered was that this image didn't change and that her precious Peridot was kept nice and warm. Her eyelids grew heavier as she gave her lover one final look over. Yep, she was still there, still resting on her just the way she wanted, still perfect. She exhaled happily, letting her eyes close. Her arm slid back under the blankets to rest over the messy pile of blonde hair, enjoying all the small noises she made, even when she was doing as little as breathing.

"Let's… Stay like this…” In her head this was a desperate plea, but it came out as little more than a dreamy demand.

Peridot's face soon nuzzled into her lover's chest, the unbelievably soft skin more comfortable than any pillow could ever be. She was in heaven... Maybe losing her legs was a trade for finding Lapis. She wondered in her sleepy state if she'd make that deal if given the choice. The answer was yes with a disturbing amount of confidence.

'Limbs aren't super needed… Walking was overrated anyway.' she mewled to herself, her cheeks hurting a little as she grinned against Lapis' skin. She was happy! Truly, no string attached happy.

"I love you… Mmm… I love… Lappy…” she mumbled weakly, her fingers caressing down Lapis' chest and draping over her stomach. She recalled as she fell into darkness how uppity she used to feel about relationships. She'd probably have slapped herself from just a year previous for thinking this wasn't the most important thing. Falling asleep just like this was the ultimate dream.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis wakes up the following morning with a rather strange urge.

Lapis woke to a numb pain throughout most of her body. The bedroom light was still on, fighting to fill the room with the sunlight that shined in through the small gap in the curtains. Her eyes fluttered closed again, hands sliding up her body, running through the hair on her chest and- Wait, what? She looked down and her eyes opened wide. It was Peridot, lying atop her.

Her gaze started darting about the room. It was Peridot's room too. Her bed, her pillows, her hair she was running her hands through. It was hard to process that all of this had really happened last night. Everything around her felt so comfortable, so normal, that she thought she had woken up in her own bed. She yawned and blinked, letting her eyes rest for just a while as her hands slipped past the girl's hair, hugging her head against her. She took a few deep breaths, ignoring the hint of morning breath on her lips and instead focusing on the smell of the room. It was so... Peridot. It wasn't necessarily offensive or particularly clean, it was a nice middle-ground scent, something warm like fresh plastic or a new book.

She let her eyes slowly break open again, fixing on the girl in her arms. A smile broke out across her face, observing the sleeping one hugged against her chest. She had her head turned down, partially stretched across her skin, mouth hanging open and drooling onto her breast. Her arms retracted, wanting to leave the graceful girl to her sleeping. But then she saw just where her face - or rather, her mouth - was. She was less than an inch from her tit, her lips so tantalizingly close... Her cheeks filled with red as she reached down to wipe around her mouth, trying to gently nudge her towards it as she did so. She didn't know why she wanted to do this so badly, but right now her only thought was to get her girlfriend onto her erect, bright pink nub.

Peridot slept more calmly than she had since she was a baby. Sleep and her always had an odd relationship of either being best friends or mortal enemies. She could either sleep for three days or force herself to stay awake for a week solid. This night was different. She had a protector and a companion. She had warm, living skin pressed all over her own. In an adjustment of covers in the middle of the night she had glued herself even closer to her lover, unable to even consider separating from the warmth. Peridot had no dreams, but had hazily woken up once or twice to due to Lapis' movements. Every time she fell back asleep with a goofy smile on her face.

"Nnnnnuu… Ffffffffffff…” she spoke in her sleep, half-open mouth softly closing on the soft flesh she was fed. Her unconscious brain commanded her to act and so she did, shivering in closer to her warm provider and softly beginning to suck on her lover's nipple. She nursed steadily, her body slowly coming back to reality bit by bit. Usually she would wake to the sensation of her stumps gliding against fabric, reminding her of what had happened. But today, instead of waking up alone and lamenting, she woke up to find herself innocently nursing on her lover's chest. Her blurry eyes blinked open, her lips never faltering off their target, and blinked until she could somewhat see. Her glasses had most likely been slid to the floor in the night, leaving her large green saucers to glance around aimlessly until she realized exactly what she was doing and who with.

"Mmph… Mm… Mmmahh… Ahhhh…” she mouthed out, hesitantly releasing the nub of flesh from her lips. She nervously looked up toward Lapis face, her body shuddering as she fully comprehend how awkward that must have felt to Lapis.

Lapis' hands had already found their way back onto Peridot's back, not hugging her or massaging, just resting there. Her head had rolled onto it's side, eyes closed once again as her ears were filled with the sounds of the girls gentle suckling. It was like her girlfriend was playing music for her, a one-woman orchestra dedicated to her. Every little noise she made, her attempts at talking, the sound of her lips occasionally smacking, filled her with some bizarre amalgam of emotions which she realized she had never experienced before she started dating this girl.

Her eyes opened again when they ceased, bringing the room into an awkward silence. She ran her gaze along the bed until she was met with the unfocused emerald pair staring back at her. Peridot was awake. Not just awake, she looked… Upset? Worried? It took a while for Lapis to fully comprehend her lover's expression, but when she did a tired smile made its way onto her face. That was the face a child makes when they're caught red handed. No mistaking it. She leaned in, hand gliding up to the back of her head to push it towards her, and planting a kiss on her forehead. Her lips were dry and she could really go for a cup of water and coffee (interchangeably), but there was no way she'd let this moment pass on its own.

"You don't have to stop if you don't want to." She whispered, resting her head back on the pillows and gazing down expectantly as she waited for Peridot's answer.

Peridot's expression turned into a pure slate of embarrassment, her forehead tingling where Lapis' lips had touched. She had barely anytime to fully awaken and her heart was already pounding inside of her chest. Memories flooded back into her head of being caught staying up too late and getting scolded or trying to sneak a dessert. A terrible turmoil mixed with her own embarrassment nearly made the girl whimper in shame. Lapis' voice was so calm and understanding, sending a chill down her spine as her eyes moved back down to Lapis' chest. Her breasts were so soft and inviting, not to mention a good deal larger than Peridot's own.

"I-I'm sorry..." she whimpered out, unsure what she was truly apologizing for. Her large orbs glanced up quickly one last time before shutting. Her lips found their way back to the moist little nub, tongue darting out to lick it before she could begin to suck. Why did this give her such an extreme feeling of comfort? Was she really giving in to such an obscene basic need? Lapis was her beautiful girlfriend, lover, protector… And now the target for her peculiar fetish. She was giving in despite the shame and embarrassment, her body wiggling into Lapis’ more closely as she tried to suck out all the comfort she needed. That was truly what it was, after all. Comfort. Peridot felt smaller than she had ever been in this moment, but completely and utterly protected and nurtured. Lapis would care for her in this pathetic state, she was positive.

Lapis managed to push back the blush in her cheeks, pulling her eyes off of Peridot to stare at the ceiling. Despite how much she enjoyed this feeling, and how it seemed to be reciprocated, it was still very embarrassing. She sucked in her lower lip, running it between her teeth as the suckling found a decent pace. Stars, why was she liking this so much? Even if this was some kind of erogenous zone for her, she wasn't getting aroused in any sense; However it didn't feel like she was nursing a toddler or child either. She was lost in between those two opposites, somewhere in that spectrum.

The grip of her arms tightened, pulling her lover in closer and slightly further up her body, making sure she was in kissing range if need be. She looked back down to Peridot, staring at that calm, sleepy expression. That was it. Her heart leapt into her throat, forcing air out as it did so. She risked hugging her a little tighter, taking another deep breath to enjoy her scent. She wasn't Peridot's mother, nor legally her caretaker. She was her lover, and that meant being everything she needed. She was happy to play out whatever this role was right now, and it didn't matter what name they put to it.

"Don't be sorry." she whispered in a calm, nurturing tone.

Peridot sighed softly through her nose, her hands sliding up Lapis' skin and feeling her heart thump steadily. She was almost scared to open her eyes, unsure if she wanted Lapis to be looking away or at her. If it was away she could just be bearing with it to keep her happy… If she was staring at her it would just be embarrassing. The whole situation made her repeat the mantra of 'Don't make me explain why I love doing this' over and over inside her head. She tried to calm herself even further, making sure her lips weren't pulling too hard. She wasn't really receiving anything from the act, she knew that. She just craved more affection from the blue haired girl in a way she'd never thought possible. An unintended "Nrrk…” from her throat surprised her, eyes shooting open and mouth releasing the little nub.

"Gah… Eh… S-Sorry…” she whined, her hand pulling from Lapis' skin and wiping her mouth as she looked up at her lover. Their eyes were locked again, Peridot clinging back to her bare flesh quite quickly as she saw how content she looked.

"Uhh… I like this… A lot. I don't know why…” she admitted, snorting a tiny laugh and gently pushing her face against Lapis' chest, her eyes shutting as her ear listened to the steady beat.

Lapis' lips pursed at Peridot's admission, trying to hold back from laughing. It was obvious she was feeling very sensitive (the same as her small nub was) about this, and if she made a misstep she could discourage her from doing something like this again. With just how much she was liking this, she  **really** didn't want that to happen. But it was too late, her eyes closed and she was filling the room with her gentle laughter. She broke a hand from the hug to wipe her eye, and brought it down to rest on her lover's head.

"Me too. A lot a lot." she reassured, caressing her hair in an attempt to undo her laugh. She sighed, keeping her gaze on her for just a little longer. She wished she could record things with her mind, just so she could watch this moment over and over again for hours every day. Her head fell back, rolling on the pillow to stare at the clock. This time there was a sigh of aggravation.

"Crap…” she groaned out, rolling her head back to stare at the little angel atop her. She didn't want to this moment to end. Heck, she was pretty sure she had forgotten what it meant to exist without this girl with her.

"I have to go soon…” she said as if the very words were sour. She couldn't leave Peridot alone. Not because she was particularly useless, despite last night she'd been handling herself well enough… But the thought of leaving her to do so felt wrong.

Peridot felt her own cheeks puff a little as Lapis rather infectious laugh rattled her a little. It was so awkward… In movies sex and everything in between just happened. You didn't rehearse or have to actually talk about things. She almost purred as Lapis touched her head, her face rubbing into her soft skin and trying to forget what sleeping felt like without Lapis with her. This was what she wanted every single night. She lifted up suddenly as Lapis spoke those awful words. She caught herself from whining. She was nearing the edge of actually whining like a child.

"Oh yeah… You work and… Stuff…” she got out, every cell in her little body crying out to scream, cry, barter and beg for her to stay. The feeling washed over her and faded fairly quickly, to her liking as feeling that possessive of another human scared her a little bit. She put her face back against the girl's skin and gave her a small kiss.

"Mmm… Thanks for… Everything. I doubt I handled this very well but I guess it worked out…” she spoke softly against her, suddenly raising up and pulling herself up to face height with her lover. She held herself up on her elbow and pulled Lapis' face to hers, giving her a firm kiss on the lips.

"Mmmm!" she groaned out, pulling back and smiling rather wide.

"Thank you, Lapis."

Lapis felt her heart tearing with each kiss. She wanted to push back into them, hold her tight, draw the kisses out, do everything with her again, but she couldn't. Calling in sick wasn't really something you could do when you're attending medical school. There were more tears in her eyes when Peridot pulled off from the second kiss, and they wouldn't easily be hidden. Her lips trembled as she looked up at her girlfriend. This was the happiest and most content she had seen the girl since she had first seen her. And here she was, having to walk out on it.

"Oh Peridot!" she cried out as her tears ran down the side of her face, suddenly shooting up and tackling her with a hug. She burrowed her face into Peridot's shoulder, hands clutching on her protectively. She could feel her slip down into her lap, thighs awkwardly hanging over her own. Why was she treating it like she was never going to see this girl again? If she made up some excuse to come over - Or got the courage to just outright ask what she wanted - she could see her again by this evening. But right now her emotions were overflowing and making her sob into her lover's shoulder.

"I don't want to leave you…” she mumbled out, not realizing what she was saying but trying to hide it regardless.

Peridot let out a small "Bleh-" as she was squeezed so tightly. She felt a rather guilty bout of pride as Lapis clutched her so tightly. Her wraps wrapped around her lover and squeezed her obscenely tight, starting to giggle louder and louder until her own eyes watered up.

"I don't either! Nyeheh… Hmhm… You're so… Cute! It's like hugging is never close enough with you!" she was grinning like an idiot at this point, stroking through Lapis' hair and pushing their faces together. She was smearing Lapis' tears on her own cheeks and kissing them away best she could manage, her lips soon pressing into Lapis' whimpering ones over and over again until she could make her smile again. Peridot felt like she was really in a movie.

"L-Look, I know you have to work, and I guess I do to… I don't like 'clock in' but I work… You have to go but I'll wait for you… I-I… Okay I can't pick you up from work but like… I could come to your place or something! We can go on a date or something! Yeah?!" she was becoming overly excitable, her body vibrating against her lovers like some sort of stuffed toy.

Lapis didn't need much encouragement to perk up again. Peridot's words were like music, and her kisses like honey. The giggling spread to her as she shared those kisses, hands finding their way up to hold her girlfriend's cheeks. As the girl started awkwardly stammering her way through her proposal, she wiped the remaining tears off of her own face, unable to stop smiling at this point. She secured a hand the nerds shaking hip and shoulder, leaning in for one more kiss as she slid her out of her lap and laid her down on the bed.

"Don't worry, I'll come back here." she whispered. That would be okay for a date, wouldn't it? Just being home with Peridot? Well, not her home but Peridot's… Although maybe some day it would be hers too… She shook her thoughts free long enough to slip out of the bed, leaving her lover lying on it, blinking and staring at the ceiling.

She quickly found the clothes they had discarded last night, chucking Peridot's back to her before sorting out her own. The first thing to come on was her panties, which made her shiver in discomfort as she realized her crotch and thighs were still very messy. She'd have to clean this up, but she didn't think she could handle another shower with Peridot without something happening again. She'd have to take care of it when she got back home. The next was her bra, which she awkwardly messed with behind her back as her eyes turned to observe her girlfriend's progress.

"What do you want for breakfast?" escaped her lips, rather casually at that. She didn't have time for breakfast. She should be leaving as fast as she could or she'd be late… But what was a few missed minutes for a morning with her lover?

Peridot grabbed her glasses from the end of the bed, silently thanking the powers that be they didn't get crushed in their escapades. She carefully cleaned them off with the softest part of the bed sheet and slipped them back on.

"Ah… Sight." she quietly noted, her seated form staring over at the other girl. She was too perfect in Peridot's head. Her body type was so fluid and feminine, her brightly colored hair making her seem that much more unique. Peridot was more than a bit jealous, but figured it was probably better she was on the skinnier side now that she had no running capabilities. Her teeth sank into her lip as Lapis lifted her underwear into place, thighs squeezing together as Lapis quickly snapped on her bra. She perked up a little more as Lapis turned to her, her smile growing a tad larger when she saw Lapis' eyes. She pulled the covers up a bit to cover herself, though it was more to keep her body warm than to cover any semblance of shame she had left. She adjusted her glasses as messed with her hair for a bit while she thought about it, feeling a little embarrassed for what she was about to say.

"Uhhh well I usually have two pop tarts in the morning. I can make you some!" she said happily, messing up her hair again before snatching her shirt up and slipping it on. She scooted her way to the edge, hopping over into her chair with Lapis assistance. She rolled over to her dresser, knowing Lapis eyes were watching her to see if she needed any assistance. She dug through her drawers and grabbed the last remaining pair of clean panties she had, sliding them up and wiggling them on properly. She looked up from her wiggling, sticking her tongue out at her smiling lover and rolling herself toward the door.

"It's awkward in a chair, okay?!" she whined, her face filling with color. She left Lapis to finish the rest of her dressing, rolling into the kitchen and moving onto her mission for poptarts. Once they began to toast she opened her fridge to search for something to drink, wondering if she should just start the day with an energy drink.

Lapis' brows knitted as Peridot described her average breakfast. Okay, she didn't have the healthiest diet herself, but she had a much tighter schedule, and Peridot had a lot less... body to absorb the junk. After helping her lover into her wheelchair and letting her dress, she rushed to slip on her shirt and find her jeans, being made aware of the mess between her thighs once again as she put them on. She awkwardly walked while simultaneously buttoning up her shirt until she reached the kitchen.

Her immediate response when she entered the room was to slap herself in the face. Peridot's fridge was nearly empty, apart from a bottle of milk and a few cans messily spread across the different shelves. Her fruit and vegetable bins were empty, but thankfully the girl had the sense to have a loaf of toast and some eggs. She crossed her arms before walking up to the legless girl, snatching the energy drink from her hand and stuffing it back into the fridge, at the highest shelf that had - after the crash - become unreachable.

"No energy drinks. You're having water." she stated harshly. It was a tone that was new to her, and while she wasn't entirely comfortable with it, it was one that was needed right now. She searched through the cupboards for a glass and then filled it at the tap, sliding it back into the still-clutching hand of the girl that seemed to have frozen upon her intervention. She rested herself against the kitchen bench, folding her arms again and crossing one leg over the other.

"And you're having eggs for breakfast. How do you like them?"

Peridot whined and swiped at the girl as she stole her drink away. She stared with utter shock and sorrow, her arms going limp as she was deprived of her life fueling drink. It was the perfect temperature and everything... She'd find a way to get it when Lapis left... That grabby claw she had received as a half joke, half ‘you-actually-need-this-you-cripple-fuck’ gift from Lars would come in handy here. She begrudgingly drank two gulps of water before setting the glass up on the counter and pulling out the eggs to hand to the blue haired student.

"Scrambled… I don't have cheese or anything to put in 'em… And I'm still eating my poptart." she whined, grunting as she climbed up onto the counter space next to the toaster. Her chair was locked in place and she had scrambled up before Lapis could get to her, leading to Peridot sitting on the edge with a concerned Lapis inches from her face. Peridot swallowed a bit roughly as she realized the automatic concern her mobility gave Lapis, making her heart both sing and sigh at the same time. She leaned forward and gave her a small kiss, scooting back a bit with a dorky little smile. She couldn't really think of what the proper thing to say was so she figured now would be a good time to ask for yet another favor.

"Could you uhhm… Help me go grocery shopping? If you're gonna like... come over and stuff, i'll need food." she spoke, her nasally voice trying to sound as innocent as possible. She could easily get groceries herself but she just didn't want to wheel herself around. Even with the curse of sitting for the rest of her life, she was still lazy.

Lapis raised an eyebrow at the girl, her eyes already wide with worry after she had crawled up onto the bench. Was this the kind of thing Peridot did regularly? Not only did she see so many safety issues professionally, but her heart was racing and she was scared out of her mind personally. She placed the eggs on the bench, not remotely caring for placement or keeping them from falling off. She just about tackled her as she rushed to wrap her arms around her, holding her tight and picking her up like a baby she was overly cautious about dropping on their head. She set Peridot back down in her chair, ignoring the flailing and fighting. She could keep her pop tart, but she wouldn't leave her to do things like that any more. This place really wasn't built for her. Her face scrunched up as the idea burned harder than it ever had before in her mind. Thankfully she had the distraction of another question to occupy her, though it didn't keep her cheeks from turning a bright red.

"Yeah, yeah… We can do that after I'm done with school." she rushed out, diving back into the cupboards as she searched for a frying pan. She added some oil and let it heat up on the stove for a while, taking this time to put some actual bread in the toaster. She got out a spatula and fork once she had broken the eggs into the pan, getting busy scrambling. She couldn't avoid the thought forever, though. She sighed and lowered her head.

"How about…”

No Lapis, don't finish that sentence. You're coming on too strong. You've already made a breakthrough with her last night, if you try and push that any further she'll leave you and you won't have anyone to care for.

"…I move in. Here."

Peridot grumbled as she was set back down in a 'safer' location, munching away at her poptart and, 'Augh...', plain water. She knew the second Lapis closed that door she would be slamming her chair against the fridge and yanking down her Monster Energy can. Starting the day without caffeine was madness. Her expression softened a bit as Lapis agreed to help, Peridot mentally making an inventory in her head immediately. The girl never needed to use a physical list for these things because she had such a good memory for these things. She could easily remember where everything in her tiny pantry was without even looking... though there only being spaghetti noodles and an ancient box of Uncle Ben's in the back probably helped in that regard. She nearly finished her first poptart when Lapis continued speaking, hands peppering the eggs and scrambling up the sizzling mass. Peridot nearly choked on her poptart remains and she had to quickly swig down her water to force it down.

"Gahh… Augh…” she gasped out, setting her glass up on the counter and looking up toward Lapis who seemed to have her eyes bolt to the pan in front of her.

"A-Are you serious? I mean I'd love that! I have too much space here anyway and cheaper rent sounds amazing… I… Wait, you aren't doing this because you think I need a caretaker, right? I don't want you to uproot your life because you think I'm helpless. I mean… I like your helping." she quieted down, her eyes moving to her lap where her hands rubbed together.

"I like you… Taking care of me." she mumbled out, loud enough to hear but certainly quiet.

"When did you wanna move in…?” she hesitantly asked, her brain kicking out of the back of her head. 'TELL HER RIGHT NOW YOU IDIOT! SEAL THE DEAL!'.

Lapis found it hard to hold back her smile, her lips becoming an awkward trembling mess as they did so. She tried to keep her eyes off of Peridot as she searched the drawers again for a plate. She maintained silence until she had finally served up the small pile of scrambled eggs, setting the pan off to the side to wait for it to cool down. The plate slid its way closer to the girl before she finally spoke up, unable to look at anything other than the bench or the wall as she did so.

"I dunno… Tonight… Tomorrow? I don't have much stuff…” she spoke rather timidly. Even if Peridot had started out enthusiastic by the question, she was still afraid she was moving too fast. She worried her lip as she tried to find something to say that wouldn't make her feel like she was using her girlfriend. Unfortunately, there wasn't much.

"I just… I like taking care of you, Peridot, and…” she paused again, swallowing down her fear as she turned to look at her lover. She only then realized she was clenching her own hand, tight to the point where it hurt and she felt she was going to break something. She forced her hands down to her sides, bringing her eyes up to hers. She gulped again more audibly, shaking in her place as she attempted to offer her heart.

"And I want to be with you… Be there for you." Even if it was a proposal of moving in with her girlfriend of half a month, it felt more like she was trying to propose marriage. How was it this plain and honestly rather annoying girl managed to dig so far under her skin in such a short time?

Peridot's fingers tapped together excitedly as Lapis told her how soon she was prepared to move. She wondered deep down if losing her legs had given her supernatural powers to somehow hypnotize sexy women. She never thought she'd be able to make anyone nervous much less as shaky as Lapis clearly was. She put her clasped hands in her lap, eyes staring up at Lapis through her glasses and feeling like a literally princess. Her heart was racing inside of her chest, teeth sinking into her lip as Lapis teased her with probably the more innocent confession of all time. Why was this so obscenely sexy to her? It was even more than that… It was love.

She scooted her chair forward and thought of what the best thing to do was. Turns out, it was impossible to stand on her tiptoes to kiss Lapis' lips. Peridot took hold of Lapis' hands and pulled them down, her face nervously grinning a little as their faces neared.

"P-Pick me up…” she spoke softly, Lapis finally getting the picture as Peridot wrapped her arms around her neck and pulled her into a deep, clean kiss. "Mmmph!" she whined out, her form being lifted into a tight hold that was more comforting than anything she had ever experienced. She only had on a loose top and some panties so the warmth from Lapis' body was very welcomed. Their lips spread, tongues hugged and they soon parted with and panting laugh.

"Haha… Ah… Ahh-I love you…” 

Lapis was by no means surprised by the kiss. It was practically written across Peridot's face. If she had the energy or the space, she might have spun her around her her arms as they kissed. Ignoring the nausea that would ensue, it seemed like something appropriate in this situation. She responded to the 'I love you' with another eskimo kiss, warming up her lover's face with her own before placing a few more light kisses on her cheeks. She spent a while longer standing there, holding her and touching their foreheads together. Her eyes closed as she breathed in, as if this moment had its very own flavor she was trying to taste.

She set Peridot back down in her chair and pushed the plate into her lap, and after some more messing around with the drawers she was able to shove a knife and fork into her hand, with the glass of water in the other. She was so happy at this moment, but she couldn't afford to be any more late than she actually was. That, and she really needed to cry right now and didn't want her girlfriend seeing that. She wheeled her out into the living room and shoved a remote onto the armrest of her chair. That would be enough for her... Right? She clenched her hand and tried to keep the rest of her body calm, wanting to be as gentle as she could with the dazed-looking girl.

"I'm really sorry Peri, I can't stay any longer. But… I'll be back tonight… Maybe with my things… A-And we can go shopping, alright?" she proposed, hoping it served as a decent apology. She made her way to the door, checking her pockets for her phone and wallet.

"Oh," she stopped with her hand on the handle, wanting to turn back but instead just lowering her head, "And… I love you too.". And with that, she was out of the apartment. She tried to remain calm as she left the complex, but by the time she reached her bike (which was thankfully still there despite being unchained) she was already in tears. She tried to mount her ride, but the feeling in her panties came back once again and she was forced to walk it home.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a month since Lapis moved in with her girlfriend and unofficial charge, but things aren't going the way she had hoped.

Peridot groaned and shoved her glasses up as her palms pushed her eyes into her skull and scratched at them. She had been awake for about thirty hours at this point, even Lapis' hugs and cuddling not enough to send her to sleep. They usually found themselves in a rather comfortable cycle, Peridot's adjustment to wheeled life going smoothly as her upper body strength grew. She had started the beginnings of a workout regime that was supposed to eventually lead to her being able to use fake legs, though she had fallen into a lazy state. She pushed back from her desk, finishing answering all of her emails and shutting the thing down before hopping over into her wheelchair. Turns out limited mobility increased productivity so her work certainly hadn't suffered from the incident. However their relationship was reaching an apex, her eyes avoiding a reading Lapis already snuggled into bed.

She rolled to her side, slipping off her hoodie and climbing onto the bed. She crawled up and settled in next to her lover, Lapis not bothering to turn her head to see her. Peridot was rather short with her that day, and not just because she was chair bound. She had too much on her mind to be truly attentive and actually had to pat Lapis away just an hour earlier, claiming she 'Couldn't come to bed, she had more emails to answer.'. She knew she had hurt Lapis' feelings, brain scrambling for what to say as Lapis' clicked off her phone and turned to the girl.

"I-I uhh… I'm sorry." Peridot awkwardly spoke, swallowing down her nerves and whining a little as Lapis pulled her into a hug. Peridot's cheek rested on Lapis' chest as she was held, a soothing hand moving over her hair.

"I didn't mean to sound so bitchy… I'm sorry…” she croaked from her lips, feeling Lapis' kiss the top of her head.

Lapis - like Peridot - had fallen into her own dark place. She wasn't falling behind in her school or studies, or dedicating all of her time to it, but when she was out of that workspace, either by herself in their shared home or with an unattentive Peridot everything felt  _ off _ . She didn't know what had happened to her girlfriend, but she definitely knew what had changed with her. Her caring and maternal instincts - which had usually been subverted by caring for her lover in the usual ways one would help the disabled - had grown past her control. She had found new outlets, such as a small selection of reading online, but it wasn't enough.

Unfortunately at the same time, Peridot had returned to being just as selfishly independent as she had when they'd started dating. And of course, she blamed herself for it. She didn't know what she had done or when it might have happened, but her guilt complex told her that it had to have been her fault that she was acting like this. She had to have crossed a line at some point which had reduced their relationship over the past week or so to mostly silence and infrequent assistance. She was grateful she could at least hold her and kiss her at this point, even if she couldn't be there for her for the rest of the day. She shut her eyes and sighed, trying to find her words and ultimately finding nothing other than, "...I'm sorry too."

Peridot rubbed her nose against Lapis' shirt, inhaling her scent slowly and finding it just as relaxing as she remembered. Why the hell had she not gone to bed when Lapis asked?

"I don’t know what you're sorry for… You've been extra nice, if anything. I'm the butt." she said, half mumbling as her cheek squished to Lapis chest. She brought her hand up to itch at her eye,her glasses being shoved up temporarily as she whined a bit. She nuzzled in harder, a hand actually tugging at Lapis' shirt as she got comfortable. She didn't know how to put her feelings into words… She wanted that imaginary bubble to pop but she couldn't muster up the courage to pop it. She felt a curling snake of guilt wrap around her throat as her brain told her 'Ask her to lift up her shirt… Sucking always makes the anxiety go away… Right?'

Oh god, she was sliding faster down the slippery slope. It had been casual, comfortable before. Awkward at times, but usually Lapis seemed like she enjoyed the act. It was usually post-fun times, however. The few times it was stand alone were nervous and hesitant. Her eyes raised up to look at her girlfriend… Lover. Caregiver.

"Euh… Why are you so much prettier than me. It's so unfair." she spoke, trying to get a genuine smile out of the blue haired woman. She forced one of her own, sticking out her tongue playfully and wiggling against her.

Lapis seemed very cold in her response, though she didn't mean to be. Even with that smile up at her, her first reaction was to stretch out and set her phone down on the bed, her mind still swimming with thoughts of the kind of relationship the characters whose story she was reading shared. She wanted desperately for her and Peridot to be like that. She loved taking care of the girl… At least, when she had been taking care of her.

She scanned through her memories again, trying to find where everything went wrong. She'd give anything for them to at the very least have things go back to the way they were. A word… Was it a word? One of them had said something, it had to be. Peridot was either offended or embarrassed by it, but she couldn't bring herself to ask which.

She tried to smile back, leaning down and taking the tongue into her mouth. They were doing the same thing they had done with all of their other open-mouth kisses, their tongues were acting the same, their lips were moving the same… But the atmosphere made it feel hollow. She pulled back rather quickly, unable to take the sour feeling much longer. She wanted to love Peridot as much as she could, but she felt like her lover wasn't reciprocating it and her body was starting to shut down when it realized it had no use.

"You're pretty too…” she assured, raising a hand to rest on the girl's head. It required a lot of willpower to get that to mean as much as she wanted it too.

"And I just…” she trailed off, trying to find her reason for being sorry on top of everything else.

Peridot whined a little as Lapis literally sucked her into a kiss, their faces pushing together for a few vapid moments of what was considered love. It felt so mechanical and rehearsed, like they were doing it more for a third party's enjoyment than their own. Peridot wondered how you could spend so much time with someone and be so affectionate yet still end up lonely. There was this wall between them that at times she felt she could chip away at, but others it was made of steel.

Maybe it wasn't a wall… Rather a gap. A gap so far jumping would mean certain death. Her eyes scanned over her others face, the hand on her head feeling all too nice but still rather forced. Lapis' expression coupled with her choice of words made the bottom of Peridot's stomach turn. Lapis not only wasn't herself but she wasn't even someone else. She was so shell like. Both of them felt hollow and desired something more filling than their current state. She reached up, brushing away a stray blue hair, and touched Lapis' cheek. She ran her thumb over it and furrowed her brow a bit.

"You 'just' what? I… I want to talk, you know. I want things to be like they were. This wasn't a mistake, right?" she posed, wondering if living together so quickly was the catalyst that had done them in. Was this how it was going to be? The initial spark fades and this darkness looms over you and your partner forever?

Lapis gulped, her throat feeling like a desert. She pursed her lips as she dove through her thoughts again. One moment stuck out in her mind, the last time the pair had breastfed. It was always a weird thing between them, both loving every moment while worrying that the other wasn't. That was the closest thing she could think of before their relationship turned into whatever this was now.

Maybe Peridot had just had enough of it? Had she done something that freaked her out about it? They hadn't done anything else then, had they? Her brow knitted as she tried to draw her gaze somewhere else. She couldn't let her girlfriend feel bad because of her mistake. She should bear all of that guilt. Unfortunately, she had already started crying, making her lover withdraw her hand and painting an even more worried expression on her face. She gulped again, feeling like there was something continually trying to slither up her throat and crawl out of her.

"I just…” she started again, sniffling before turning back to the girl in her lap.

"I did something wrong, didn't I?" she got out, her tears getting heavier and her voice devolving into an incoherent whine.

"Was it something I did? Something I said…?"

Peridot's anxiety was reaching it's boiling point, threatening to bust the lid of the pot into pure despair.

"I-I… I…” she choked out, her own lip quivering as Lapis' tears started to flow. She clutched onto the girl's shirt, trying to stop her own tears from coming out as she looked up at the sorrow filled woman.

"N-No! You're perfect!" she piped up with almost instantly. Lapis being down on herself was probably the number one thing Peridot detested in the world. How could someone so perfect not realize it themselves?

"I-I did something… I made it weird for us to touch and t-then I pushed you away… I'm sorry!" Peridot wrapped her arms up around Lapis' neck, pulling her close and pushing her own eyes into the crook of her neck.

"Don't cry… I'm so sorry… P-Please stop crying…” she begged, wishing she could reverse time and repeat this moment over so she'd be able to say the right thing. There had to be something she could say that would make Lapis happy again.

"It was n-never you! I'm the fuckup! You're so nice to me and… You take care of me. You do so much… I love you…” she pushed through her words, pulling back and lifting her glasses back into her hair, her face squishing against Lapis' in an attempt to help her through her tears.

"Mmmph… Don't cry…” she whimpered, their foreheads pushing together as Peridot felt her own burning tears streak down her cheeks.

Lapis closed her eyes as she tried to hold back her tears. They curved down her cheeks and ran over her lips, adding even more salt to the bad taste in her mouth. She tried to nod against Peridot's head before closing the small gap between their lips, sharing one of the most emotion-filled kisses the two had shared in ages. She was unable to control her heart or her lungs, warming Peridot's upper lip as she breathed into the kiss. She was a complete wreck right now, how could this girl think she was perfect? As their lips parted she made a few audible sobs, reaching up to rub her cheeks.

"I don't…” she began, pulling back to rub into the recesses of her eyes, only serving to make them redder. She thought back to that night again. What had Peridot done to make things like this? She couldn't remember anything happening that she didn't enjoy, but suddenly their relationship had cracked.

"Then… How do we fix this?" she pleaded desperately.

"What do I do to make everything better?! Please, just tell me!" she asked, her voice growing in a shout. She opened her eyes again, her lips shifting as they rapidly switched between all very hurt or upset expressions.

Peridot's hands fell back down to Lapis shirt, holding on for dear life or she might fall to her untimely death.

"I-I don't know! I just want to be happy again! I can't fake it anymore!" she whined out, covering her own mouth with her hand and whimpering a bit. She tried to pull the words out of the air and stuff them back down but it was too late. She furiously wiped her eyes and pushed her forehead back into Lapis' shoulder, her both shaking a bit as she sucked in air desperately.

"Damnit… Eughh… Damn it…” she blubbered, sniffling abruptly and giving in to her body's desires. She was cracking from the inside out, her stumps forcing her into Lapis' lap fully and her face burying itself in her neck. She held onto her girlfriend like a pathetic child, shivering even as Lapis held her.

"I just w-want to be held… I want… I want to feel protected again…” she mumbled, her tears staining Lapis' top as she weighed her down. Her breathing was a little panicked but soon calmed down a bit, a sniff following by a small cough leaving her feeling more pathetic than anything.

"I-I'm sorry I'm like this… I like being held like a f-fucking baby!" she almost screamed, her fingers going to her teeth to chew on nervously as she tried to catch her breath.

Lapis' mouth hung open as Peridot's admission poured out. A new streak of tears ran down her cheeks, though they seemed to carry a different tone with them. Her arms wrapped around her lover and held her as tight as she could, cradling her against her larger body. She gave a few hushes to the sobbing girl, rubbing her cheek against the top of her head.

"Shhhhshhshh… It's okay, momma's got you-" Time seemed to freeze as the word left her. She thought it was just an accident from having been reading too much cg/l fiction, but that wasn't it. No, this was much more. She played back that night weeks ago in her head. That was what caused all of this. In the heat of the moment, Peridot called her 'mommy' and that was what had just about torn up their relationship.

It felt ironic, given how she had thought the reason for all of this was because she was being too motherly. But once again, it seemed that Peridot was in the same boat as her without even knowing it. A genuine smile formed on the girl's face, her eyes closing again as she let her body calm down. She nuzzled deeper into her lovers messy hair.

"I'll protect you, sweetie. There's no need to be sorry."

Peridot's breathing hitched, her painful inhaling making her chest ache or maybe that was just her heart. She felt like she was going to suddenly wake up all alone in her bed, Lapis being a half dream half nightmare she'd have to talk to a therapist about. She was supposed to be strong and toughen up. Take care of those around you and eventually earn respect! Those weren't her words... She preferred to forget about whose lips those words came out of. Instead Peridot had given into herself, latching on like a leech to her lover and blubbering like a pathetic pre-teen brat who skinned their knee roller blading. But suddenly, she could hear past her own crys and heard Lapis' calm voice, hesitantly cooing to her.

"Lapis…?” she silently mouthed, feeling that true embrace she had missed so dearly. It was back in one full rush, the feeling that they had in the beginning. This was how it was supposed to feel. She was safe, protected and cared for so deeply. Lapis' other words only confirmed what had passed her ears. She wiped off her eyes to see more clearly, sniffling as she pulled back a little and looked up at Lapis' gorgeous smile.

"M-Mommy…” she hesitantly cooed, her large orbs scanning over the smile and seeing it widen instead of fade. They had held hands and stepped completely into this new realm together, both now sure of where the other was.

"I f-feel better… Mommy…” she choked out, still sniffling but calming down quite a great deal.

Lapis' smile continued to grow wider as Peridot gave into the feelings she had been fighting over the past fortnight. She tilted her head to gently peck the girl's scalp, letting her cry into her chest. They had finally opened their hearts up to each other again, and while there did seem to be some overhanging Freudian issues they would probably need to discuss the next day, she decided that for now it was best to revel in it.

One hand held the back of Peridot's head while the other soothingly rubbed her back, continuing to hush until her crying simmered down to whimpering. She was thankful she was already dressed for bed, or it would have been a lot harder to pull off what she was going to do, possibly even break the mood if there was too much fidgeting. Or maybe it would have made the moment cuter in an awkward way? That seemed to work pretty well with everything she loved about Peridot. Her baby girl… After taking a deep breath and filling her nostrils with her lover's strange scent, she pulled back from her, still supporting her back as she lifted up the side of her shirt, just enough to expose her perky nipple.

“Let mommy make you feel better, sweetie." she cooed, her entire body shivering in delight again as she used the word.

Peridot swallowed down all the saliva she had collected as Lapis calmly spoke to her. While they had taken the first step, it turns out it was into cold, wet grass that gave Peridot chills. It was like she was being offered a drug she had become briefly addicted too yet again after years of sobriety.

"Y-Yes, Mommy…” she chirped, signalling sobriety was dead to her now. She leaned forward, her body melding in with Lapis' and her mouth latching on in no time. There was no tongue or teeth, no kissing across her skin, just Peridot suckling desperately onto Lapis.

"Mmm… Mmph… Mrmmm… Mmm…” she mewled, probably a bit louder than she should have, and curled her hands against Lapis' core. She shut her eyes softly, her warm breath sighing through her nose as she calmed down almost instantaneously. Lapis was not only holding her, but cradling her. Peridot's brain was a messy fog, either too nervous to confront these feelings or too excited to bother.

"Mmm… Mmm… Mmph…” she nursed, truly worshipping Lapis' chest like a good little girl should. Nothing was exactly given to Peridot's mouth, but she was feeling fed for the first time in her life. Pure, true love given with no strings attached.

Lapis released her shirt when Peridot found her way under it, hand returning to the small girls back. Even if it was the same as most of the other times her lover had taken to her chest (despite being somewhat rougher and more desperate than usual), it felt nearly completely different with this kind of relationship forming between the two.

She pulled the girl down with her, laying back against the pillows and letting her adjust in her lap. However, this time she wasn't staring off at the ceiling, the wall, the curtains or keeping her eyes shut. Her focus was directed entirely on Peridot, staring down at her mess of hair, her stubby little nose and the bright emerald eyes that occasionally flickered open and met her gaze. She pet the girl's head as she nursed, her mind drifting off as she continued to observe the adorable display.

Was this going to be a one time thing, or would it end up completely changing their relationship? A part of her was fine with this 'mommy' role she had created for herself, but it wasn't one she was entirely sure she wanted to be in 24/7. And Peridot… Poor Peridot. She felt like she was abusing the love this poor girl had for her. She had been making so much progress with her recovery. By letting this sort of this happen between them, was she going to undo all of that? Would she forsake her independence for her? She suppressed the urge to vomit as she realized that the thought was exciting her, once again settling on the idea that this would have to be something to be discussed tomorrow. Possibly even design rules over.

"That's a good girl." she praised, her thumb lowering to gently brush her lovers forehead.

Peridot melted against the girl, her eyes fluttering open as she was praised and slowly falling shut again. She mewled, grumbled and almost purred as she finally felt that burning itch in her heart get scratched. Was this really how it was going to be? She liked having a girlfriend... But this was something entirely different. This was codependency at its core. Peridot could feel Lapis staring at her, making sure she was comfortable and taken care of. It was so freeing, in a way, that she could perform this act and be praised for it instead of judged. She'd never be able to tell anyone that they did this. No one could understand what this feeling was quite like they could. Her lips popped off with a panting breath, her face moving over to the other breast and nuzzling into it.

"M-Mommy… I love you, Mommy…” she mewled out, sighing as she began to nurse on her again. The words tingled across her lips, making her feel like she was doing something terrible but also required. In this moment, they were bonded in a unique fusion of weakness and protection. Peridot was at her weakest, most vulnerable state and it was Lapis who acted as her shield from the outside world. A complete exercise in trust even though the action itself was so simple.

Lapis' hand started to slide down the side of Peridot's face, brushing hair behind her ear, caressing her cheek and coming to rest at the corner of her lips. She gently wiped the area with her thumb, cleaning off the drool that was starting to slide down it. She felt something twist in her gut when the thought returned. She was acting like a child, and Lapis was wholeheartedly supporting her in this. Her hand dug under her lover's jaw, but there was a force that kept her from plucking her off. Even if this was going against everything she wanted for this girl, it was providing everything she wanted for herself. With her sex life not really having started until she met Peridot, it had been hard to tell from her immature perspective.

This was what she needed. She needed someone to fawn over, a child, a girlfriend, anyone. It offered the ultimate form of compassion for her, and a control that her unassertive self couldn't find anywhere else. As much as it pained her to think of using her in this way, Peridot was an almost perfect guinea pig for this. She was lonely so she was never depriving her of anything, she was dependant so she was never overbearing, she was small, she was cute and managed to make the word 'mommy' seem natural. It was still a rather malicious thinking pattern, but it at least put her head to rest for now. She retracted her hand and instead reached out to turn off the bedside light, leaving the room with only the light coming through the curtains illuminating them.

"Mommy loves you too." she spoke in as soft as loving a tone as she could, leaning down to leave a kiss on her lover's head. Peridot continued to suckle in the dark as she rested back down, pulling the comforter over the two of them and hoping her dreams wouldn't lead anyplace too dark from all of this.

"Goodnight, sweetie."

Peridot's eyes flickered open to glance up at Lapis as she affectionately touched her. She wondered if she tried hard enough she could make her eyes sparkle. The hand moving under her chin caused her to slow her sucking, wondering if she had been too rough. It seemed Lapis just wanted to guide her even further, her fingers gently cradling her jaw.

"Mmm… Mmm." she whimpered, her lips methodically nursing as properly as she could and trying to minimize any risk of drool leaving her lips. She felt death by embarrassment wash other her as Lapis spoke to her in that low, calming voice. How could she so naturally brave this persona in front of her? Was it that natural for her or did she just want it that badly? Peridot wanted more praise. She needed it.

Her eyes slowly fell shut as Lapis tucked them in, her lips almost scared to released her nipple. If she let go, she'd have to stop, right? She just wanted to be like this forever, in Lapis' care. She mewled and wiggled into Lapis' form a bit more as her eyes half opened to look over the woman's chest in the darkness, her lids sliding shut again as she resumed her nursing. Soon her sucklings waned to nothing, her body slowly slipping into unconsciousness as she was protected by Lapis' embrace. Her cheeks felt so warm as one squished to Lapis' flesh, her mouth opening slightly as she softly breathed into pure blissful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of the fic, folks! Not a very rewarding ending I guess, but as I stated at the beginning this story is a collection of RP's between me and a partner and this is as far as it went before devolving into a more casual RP that doesn't really fit the narrative of this fic nor is it presented in a similar fashion. I hope you all enjoyed this journey, though. Thank you for reading.


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